Jennifer Aniston

Will Binns,

WikiLeaks does not reveal all.

In a U.S. Embassy cable published yesterday on the controversial site, the collective works of Jennifer Aniston, George Clooney, Eva Longoria and David Letterman are noted for taking the edge off extremism in Saudi Arabia.

But what doesn't the document say?   

Conspiracy Corner, Comic Con 2009 Brick



It doesn't say which movies are saving the world from terrorism.

Yes, the dispatch, from a section really, truly titled, "David Letterman, Agent of Influence," name checks Aniston's Friends, Clooney's Michael Clayton, Longoria's Desperate Housewives, Letterman's Late Show and even Christopher Nolan's Insomnia, but…

It doesn't identify the two "mawkish US dramas" credited with "having a profound effect on the values and worldviews of Saudi audiences" thanks to their repeated airings on Saudi cable.

Either the muckety-muck writing the cable thinks it too explosive to identity the "mawkish US dramas," or (our guess) the muckety-muck's like your mom—and can't remember what they're called.

The muckety-muck, however, does offer clues.

The cable describes the movies as "featuring respectful, supportive American husbands dealing with spouses suffering from addiction problems." Mystery Flick No. 1 concerns a gambling gal who "lost the kids' college funds and then told her college professor husband it was because he was boring." Mystery Flick No. 2 is about an alcohol-addled lady who "smash[es] cars and china when she wasn't assaulting the husband and child."

Our best guesses? Don't have any.

Albert Brooks' Lost in America comes to mind for the gambling film, but doesn't fit. The Jack Lemmon and Lee Remick classic Days of Wine and Roses comes to mind for the alcohol film, but unless Saudis are digging on TCM, that doesn't fit, either. 

If you've got any guesses, we'd love to know.

The future of the free world depends on it. Plus, we hate being stumped.

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