If you spent your week Christmas shopping with your new (newly defunct, actually) Kardashian Kard and missed out on the no-money-down gifts of the Soup blog, let's look back and unwrap some of the finer moments.

1. The View: Susan Boyle, everybody's favorite Scottish female vocalist (after Sheena Easton), has a natural gift for belting out the lilting verses. Unfortunately, she doesn't seem to have a natural gift for telling the difference between a live TV show and a prerecorded one. Be forewarned: this is even more embarrasing than The View usually is.

Don't stop now, we're just getting started!

2. Joel McHale: Does McHale's experience on the major league mound make him more manly than Conan? Damn right. Witness the macho shaming!

3. Live With Regis and Kelly: Ancient Regis has never been one to phone it in. Or telegraph it in. Or smoke signal it in. Or hieroglyphic it in. Anyway, when Soup boss Joel McHale drops in for a little innocent morning banter, Reeg seeks vengeance for all those bad aging jokes. We have no idea what he's talking about.

4. Celebrity Rehab With Dr. Drew: There are two things in this crazy world that are undeniably hard to be: a celebrity and a drug addict. And when you're both, gosh, just imagine it. Someone named Jason Davis is at least one of those things. Check out his unique approach to dealing with that back-loving monkey.

5. The Real Housewives of Atlanta: How do you keep your daughter from becoming a teen mother? Check out caring parent Kim Zolciak-Biermann's unique, multi-karat method of birth control.

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