E!'s Pretty Wild jailbird/cute young starlet Alexis Neiers sits down with mommy to 'splain why she broke into Orlando Bloom's house and liberated his possessions. It was that freakin' alcohol! That forced itself down her throat. And besides, how much stuff does that guy need anyway?

The teen thrill seeker earned 180 days in the slammer to sober up, which is a bummer. But what a reality show.

Speaking of E!, make sure you steal a TV set and have it tuned to your Soup channel tonight at 10 p.m. ET/PT as law abiding Joel McHale gives you the nourishment you so crave.

Follow @thesoup on Twitter!

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And how about those Pretty Wild things? Pretty, um, wild ...

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