Bethenny Frankel, Jennifer Gilbert, Kelly Kiloren Bensimon

Giovanni Rufino/Bravo

Kelly Killoren Bensimon may have come off looking like a loon on last night's episode of The Real Housewives of New York City, but whatever. Bensimon insists what you see is not what you get.

Especially the seemingly nonstop bickering during last night's episode about Ramona Singer's all-girl weekend getaway...

"Enjoy it," Bensimon told me earlier today with a laugh. "Have fun with it because that's going to make my name bigger and bigger and give me a bigger platform to be charitable."

And believe it or not, Bensimon says she's actually missing her frenemies now that they're not filming.

"I'll be honest with you, I miss it. I miss the drama," she said. "I welcome the craziness. Listen, I'm on a TV show, and I'm having blast."

However, Bensimon admits she doesn't relish when she responds to the drama of the moment by lashing out at her costars, like calling Bethenny Frankel a "ho-bag" or questioning the then-mom-to-be about her professional experience by sneering she was more of a cook than a chef. "I'm so incredibly embarrassed by my behavior," she said. "That I would let someone or some situation get to me...I am so horrified."

Bensimon continues to be friends with this season's villainess, Frankel's former BFF Jill Zarin. "It's an edited-for-television show," she said. "Each and everyone one of us works really, really hard to entertain you. For people to take it seriously, that really disturbs me."

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Did you hear which of the Housewives signed a record deal? Find out here.

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