Bitch-Back! Does Dempsey Have the Grey's Blues?

Readers wonder why the doctor has lost his spark

Dear Ted:
As a fellow animal rescuer (we've rescued two dogs, three cats, and a fish!), and an "elderly" animal rescuer, could you grant me one wish? I used to adore Patrick Dempsey on Grey's in the early seasons because he and Ellen Pompeo had such a cute spark and twinkle. With each progressing season, they've lost their spark, and Patrick in particular seems dull—he's not the hottie he once was! Has he become a bit of a diva on set? Has the fame hit him upside the head again? Or is this just a case of bad writing by TPTB? Please give us some dish!
—MTC

Dear Under The Weather:
If you check out an older Grey's rerun, the show used to be so good, right? Not so much anymore—the writing is ridiculous and some of the relayshs are just gross. Can't help but notice things all started to go south during Isaiah-gate, remember that whole ordeal? Once the on-set drama started leaking, the drama onscreen started to pale in comparison.

Dear Ted:
I was fan of the first seasons of One Tree Hill and I know I'm one of the few fans of Hilarie Burton; I've fallen for Jeffrey Dean Morgan since Grey's and loved him in Watchmen. Though they're not A-listers, is it possible they actually had a kid, kept it a secret and all this isn't just a publicity move? I'm a proud owner of an adopted puppy!
—P

Dear Baby on Board:
This seems to be the year of the hidden baby, what with this announcement and Sandy's son. People are starting to see how easy it really is for celebs to keep things secret—if they want to, that is.

Dear Ted:
As I was reading your Blind Vice about Chet Chick-Muncher, I immediately thought about Leo DiCaprio. But it seems like I'm the only one who thinks this. Is it Leo, or am I close at least?
—MD

Dear First Thought:
Think again, babe. Leo is definitely not this deviant dude. He's far more outrageous than Leo could ever hope to be. 

Dear Ted:
Totally love you! I'm the proud mommy of two kitties (one shelter and one neighborhood stray I took in). My question is about Catherine Zeta-Jones: She's looking awfully skinny lately. Is it a mystery diet as well? Does she have her own BV?
—Jennifer

Dear Pound Police:
Cath is one of the few that doesn't require overly extensive body-retooling. She's a human vial of ambition unto herself.

Dear Ted:
I am a huge Matthew Morrison fan, ever since Hairspray and now Glee, and sometimes he comes across like a bit of an ass and other times he is really sweet. Can you shed any light on Mr. Matty Fresh? Thanks!
—In Love But Confused

Dear Gleeless:
While M2 may cop a 'tude from time to time, he's definitely not the resident diva on the Glee set. But more on that Monday...

Dear Ted:
I'm wondering what ever happened between you and The Answer B!tch? I know you went out to dinner a couple times. Did she lose interest when you wouldn't put out? I miss the fights you two once had. Give us an update.
—Missing the Bitch

Dear You Have No Idea:
I told her I don't date women anymore. It went downhill from there.

Dear Ted:
OK, this has to make you excited. I am thrilled to bits that it's not awful like everyone thought. My question is, what could they possible be "pick-up" shooting if the film is already done and viewable? What could they be adding?
—Twi-Crazy Canuck

Dear Twi-hard:
The cut screened for Oprah's lucky Twilight fanatics was a rough cut, i.e., not finished—so there will definitely be changes made before the premiere (especially since they had made stars all fly back to set for additional footage). And c'mon, babe, do you really expect any of the Twi maniacs to diss the newest flick before it comes out? Hell no.

Dear Ted:
So how much longer do I have to wait until my future boyfriend Orlando Bloom is single again? Give me hope! Thanks.
—C

Dear Waiting Game:
When Orly eventually does become single, you better work your magic quickly, because that boy does not like to stay solo for too long.

Dear Ted:
You mentioned that Jackie Bouffant has a beard you referred to as Missus Bouffant. As such, I'm assuming that these two have actually walked down the aisle. Thanks for clarifying. Take care!
—Cats

Dear Jackie's Girl:
You know what they say about assuming, right, darling?

Dear Ted:
What's the status on Terry Tush-Trade's "affairs of the heart"? Have they progressed into something more, or simply gone away?
—Cece

Dear Good Question:
She's still having two: her career and her beard.

Dear Ted:
I love you! I adopted a huge puppy—half Neopolitan mastiff and half pit bull (178 pounds of slobbery fun!). And I read your blolumn all the time. Question regarding the gorg Mr. Clooney—this Elisabetta chick, is this the real thing? They've been together a long time, it seems like...is she the one who will finally capture him? Thanks!
—Megan

Dear Tamed:
Elisabetta might have nailed the dapper dude down for now, but George isn't planning on hearing wedding bells anytime soon, trust. And congrats on your pooch!

Dear Ted:
Is most of Hollywood on drugs? It seems as if all your Blind Vices and those you haven't reported on—yet—are rumored to have a sniff on some of that extraordinary substance. Even if they do it once in a while, it's still a bad influence on their fans when they are caught trying to slobber home. I think the law should take a bigger interest in what is happening in these clubs and get those celebs some help, or in jail. I'm sure you were around when underage celebs were allowed to get into clubs and their parents were even clubbing with them!
—D

Dear Sober Sally:
Celebs are definitely aware that their fans wouldn't be so pleased with their snorting ways, that's why they keep them so secret (well, most celebs who dabble in drugs are able to keep it a secret). As for the justice part, when has a celeb ever not been given a leg up on the law?

Dear Ted:
Love you here in Ireland. I was just thinking that maybe Nikki Reed and Kristen aren't as close anymore because Nikki is really good friends with Michael A. and didn't agree with the way Kristen broke up with him? Or maybe she's jealous of Kristen's friendship with Dakota?
—Laura

Dear Catfight:
There's a bigger problem that certainly caused some tension in their BFFship.

Dear Ted:
I love to read all that is "The Awful Truth" but I was a little disheartened by one of your responses in a recent BB. An army wife wrote to you with a question regarding Johnny Depp and also revealed that you are what keeps her going while her hubby is deployed. In your response you addressed her Johnny question but not the fact that she is admirably holding down the fort while her soldier hubby is away defending our rights, including freedom of speech, which you clearly benefit from. Every time someone mentions their furry adoptive children in their question, you praise and thank them for their adoptive efforts. As a military wife myself (Marine wife!), I have to say, where's the love? We military wives take on a huge role for the sake of our families and country!
—T

Dear Mea Culpa:
T, I usually do reply to the more personal comments—as they're my faves (good and bad). Complete brain fart if I did not—though I don't recall the letter, exactly—and there was nothing personal, I assure. Thanks for a being a good partner to your man, who's pretty lucky to have you.