Chris Weeks/Getty ImagesSorry, ladies. Those of you who haven't been treated to Tiger Woods in the buff won't be getting a peek anytime soon. At least from the folks who brought us a nearly naked Levi Johnston.
"Playgirl has decided to turn down the alleged Tiger Woods nude photos, reportedly taken by camera phone by Woods himself," Daniel Nardicio, director of marketing for Playgirl.com, tells People. "This is a prime example of the direction Playgirl does not want to take. I prefer subjects who are willing."
Speaking of unwilling, alleged Woods mistress No. 1, Rachel Uchitel, ain't going to share, either.
"Rachel will not be appearing in Playboy," Uchitel's lawyer, Gloria Allred, tells E! News in response to reports to the contrary.
But we will be able to see the work of another of the alleged Tiger bait.
The porn purveyors at Vivid Entertainment will release two X-rated films starring Holly Sampson, who has stated that she was "intimate" with Woods. Vivid is also offering up to $1 million to any of the other Woods women to shoot a adult video and reveal details of their dalliance.
Back to the rumored Woods shots. Team Tiger has been scrambling to lock down any such images, scoring a preemptive court order in the United Kingdom blocking any British publications from running with the shots.
The catch? Woods' camp isn't even admitting there are any photos, or as his legal eagles put it:
"Our client is not aware of any images and in any event he would not have consented to any such photographs being taken nor would he have consented to the dissemination or exploitation of the same."
In other words, keep these Woods in your bag.
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Take a look back at Tiger Woods and his family in better days in our gallery!