Morning Piss: Tiger & Co.—Not Gays—Make Mockery of Marriage

Here's another great example of how not to honor sanctity of holy matrimony

By Ted Casablanca Dec 09, 2009 1:02 PMTags
Tiger WoodsREUTERS/Ashraf Mohammed

How many more illustrations of straights making a mockery of marriage do you people need? Mel Gibson? Eddie Cibrian? Tiger Woods?

Today, we've got yet more alleged dirt on how the philandering golf god is looking to settle his marriage as if it's some sort of promotional gig.

Woods' union, if you can call it that, is obviously something he likes having around to help him sport his more domesticated, endorsement-ensuring, apple-pie side. Plus, he wanted a family, too. Great! But don't then skank off to every VIP hostess who tickles your putter and pretend all's well and good on the white-picket-fence front. 

Point is, gays are routinely denied privileges in this country (marriage is just one issue, to be sure) that are reserved for our more deserving, respectful hetero counterparts, who are deemed more God-fearing and chosen. How effin' ridiculous is that? Such a double standard.

Just like Adam Lambert getting taken off the air by ABC for kissing a man, while if it had been a smooch with a woman, that "surprise" would have been just fine with the networks, don't be fooled for a second.

Yeah, we gays are just not to be trusted. I bet Portia and Ellen are having wild orgies while Tiger's complimenting Elin on her pot roast right this moment.

Sometimes this country makes me want to puke and laugh at the same time.

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Porn star! Cocktail waitress! Meet the whole gang in our Tiger's Alleged Other Women gallery.