Britney Spears

Dear Ted:
Any truth to Courtney Love's recent statement that Britney Spears was molested by her father? If so, that would explain the crazy. I hope you answer this, b/c if you don't, I might really wonder if it's true!

Dear Loser in Love:
I think Courtney makes Britney Spears look like mentally stable. I just can't trust anything that is spewed by CL. Poppa Spears is hardly a saint, and definitely has his daughter-issues, but we don't think he can go to jail for them.

Dear Ted:
There's 400 comments and counting in a post you made about James Franco. And how many comments were actually about James? Not many. Twihards are taking over. Can you at least contain them to their own separate message board? It's fine if they rack up the posts on a thread about Robsten (I know to ignore those), but it's not fair to James that they have no lives and feel the need to talk about Robsten 24/7 and move over to a post about him just because it's empty!

Dear Stick To Your Board:
Well, in their defense there was some Rob stuff in there, huh.

Dear Ted:
I've deduced from a few small things you've said over the past few months about the Jonas Brothers that little lord Nick Jonas might be more problem child than golden boy. Now that he's going solo, I've realized that while I love his bro-band (seriously, I'm a crazy big fan), I kind of can't stand the arrogant little bugger. I far prefer his less ruthlessly-ambitious-seeming brothers. So now I want details as to why you imply he's somehow "bad", because he sets my alarms off. Is this concrete naughtiness out of sync with his carefully protected image, or does he just have a nasty personality?

Dear Thin Line Between Bad and Good:
I hardly would call Nick bad. Just sayin' that compared to his other stick in the mud brothers, Nick may not be the purest of the bunch.

Dear Ted:
The article in your column, written by Taryn Ryder, is incredibly inappropriate and very offensive. You are E! News, you write celebrity gossip. Taryn Ryder took it upon herself to write an incredibly biased article about Amanda Knox, insulting the Italian legal system as well as all of our intelligence. I knew Meredith, I loved Meredith, and Amanda Knox has been found guilty of murdering her. The evidence is overwhelming and anyone that's actually followed the story on anything other than American news sites can say that the facts and Knox's behavior have showed that she is guilty. She is not the victim. I cannot tell you how disgusted I am about this article. Please have this removed, and have whoever wrote it sacked.

Dear Danni:
Taryn here and I'm sorry for the way you took the article. First off my heart goes out to the Kercher's like I said in the item. I can't imagine what it would be like to be in her family or friends situation. And I wasn't insulting the Italian legal system at all, as I said, I have to respect the decision reached by the jury over there. But since no one actually knows what went on that tragic night, and my personal opinion is that there wasn't enough evidence either way, why not choose to help support a good family I know from my hometown.

Dear Ted:
I can't remember the last time Ashton Kutcher or Demi Moore did anything of note. Their films stink. And isn't their obnoxious tweeting beneath Demi? Just because she's married to him, she has to act like an idiot now, too? Is there some unwritten rule in Hollywood that once you've made the a-list you're grandfathered in and no matter how many crappy films, failed TV series and other pathetic ventures you have (based solely on your celebrity), you still remain on the a-list or do these two just defy the odds simply because they look good?

Dear Thankful for Twitter:
Twitter is basically the only thing keeping Ashton and Demi semi-relevant. It's a joke. Still, since these two have one of the more normal marriages in this town, maybe that's what's been keeping them hibernating.

Dear Ted:
I recently saw the trailer for Sarah Jessica Parker's new flick with Hugh Grant. I have to ask, she looks a little different. Is it just me or has she been "freshened up"?
PR Funny Girl

Dear So Fresh it Hurts:

Dear Taryn:
I think you were completely right to write that piece for the Awful Truth. I've taken a really keen interest in the case, too because, like you, I was also studying abroad in the same year. I was studying in Holland but as someone who studies at an English Uni it resonated with me that far from home with people you don't really know bad s--t can go down. I'm not sure if Amanda Knox is guilty but the case was a farce. They allowed the confession to be heard again and again even though it was inadmissible and the investigation itself was carried out in a decidedly sketchy way. I hope you don't feel the need to print a retraction because some people have responded to the case in such an emotive way.

Dear Open Mind:
Thank you. I don't feel the need for a retraction, since it was just an opinion. I didn't want it to read in such a way where it seemed like I was trying to be miss know it all, which, actually, I think most people got.

Dear Ted:
Is La-Feelya Heidi Fleiss? If not does she have a similar occupation?

Dear Not So Much:
La-Feelya's profession is legal in more states than one.

Dear Ted:
Love Rob/Kristen/Robsten. Question though. Several gossip rags, who aren't exactly accurate all the time have reported that Robert is not coping so well with fame, and that he has a tendency to fall into darker moods and depression. Kristen is helpful in helping him cope, but she can only do so much. Is this somewhat troubling portrait of Robert, as a man perhaps too fragile emotionally and mentally for the level of fame he has, accurate at all? I can see it either way. He seems sensitive and overwhelmed and a little neurotic at times. But other times, he seems more crafty and resilient than people give him credit for.

Dear Reading Rob:
I think it's a little mix of both. You're right; Rob is definitely more crafty and resilient than people give him credit for. By a long shot. But he gets overwhelmed easily. This is a guy who loves nothing more than going to a few bars at night with friends. Now he gets mobbed anywhere he goes. That's never fun when it's your night off.

Dear Ted:
This is actually for Taryn. I recently found out and old friend of mine killed his son. I was aware of his ongoing mental illness, which when controlled with medication allowed him to have a successful medical practice. The man I knew could never commit this heinous crime. So Taryn, there may be vastly more to the girl you knew, then you were aware of. And drugs/obsessive love drama/mental issues can combine for a volatile horrific outcome. I'm still unable to wrap my head around the circumstances with my old friend. But, that makes it no less real. Taryn, I know where you're coming from.

Dear Shared Pain:
It's sad but true—you can never really know another person. Especially when you want to believe the good rather than the bad in people. That's just what I'm trying to do.

Dear Ted:
Not a question really, I know you sometimes give Katherine Heigl crap, but when someone does something worthy, they should get the props due. This story was first reported by our local animal shelter: Here it is on her site.
R Kile

Dear Compromise:
Totally agree, and think we're usually good about that here. Way to go, Kath!

Dear Ted:
Your boards were a snake pit this weekend. You, Taryn, and the gang must have loads of fun on Friday thinking up ways to incite the Robstens and the Nonstens. Why do you think people are so obsessed with R.Pattz and K.Stew and whether or not they are a couple?

Dear What Gives:
People are used to their gossip targets eventually giving in and spilling all (either in paid interviews or something like Twitter) about what's going on in their lives. Rob and Kristen are actually private people. It's pretty clear to me what's going on, but for all those hopefuls who don't like Kristen and want Rob single then technically there's been no dating confirmation and they can argue that way.

Dear Ted:
I have never disagreed with you more on your comment about a future Justin/Britney reunion. Yes, on paper they look great because they are both pop stars, and they had great chemistry—when they were kids. However, you have said yourself she is mentally unstable, so why would we want him sentenced to that kind of relationship? He would only end up being her caretaker, and its not for Justin to "save Britney" but for Britney to save Britney.

Dear Not So Hopeless Romantic:
But what if Justin is the one who is able to bring her back to life? Have a little faith!

Dear Ted:
We love you here in Nigeria, mostly because your Robsten updates gives us our daily fix. The Twilight Saga team visited Europe and Asia for the promotion of the movie, talk about fans from India to China but no-one ever talks about the African fans. We love Stephenie Meyer's books, the movie and the movie stars as much as fans all over the world! Just a "Hi there African fans" from anyone from Robsten to the makeup lady will do just fine. Also these pictures of Rob makes me feel soo sad for him—check out the stupid paparazzi trying to take his picture from the ground!
Brooke with loads of love from Africa (please publish this)

Dear Neglected:
Next time we run into the Twi gang we'll ask for a special shout out! You're right, you guys get totally overlooked. Not fair! As for Rob, I think he's figuring out how to cope with all this better, but man, I wouldn't trade places.


For more of Ted's sass head on over to our Bitch-Back section

  • Share
  • Tweet
  • Share