Nothing like watching your own heartbreak play out on national television.
As Keeping Up With the Kardashians gears up for the series finale on Thursday, June 10, E! viewers have gotten an inside look at how Kim Kardashian's divorce from Kanye West unfolded behind-the-scenes. Fans saw the SKIMS designer break down in tears and admit to feeling like a "failure that it's a third f--king marriage" to end.
For her, it seems that watching the show more than three months after she filed for divorce is like reliving the emotional split all over again.
"With the KUWTK finale and dramatic episode airing, it's a lot for her to take in when she's reminded of it," a source close to Kim exclusively tells E! News.
The source says she "gets upset" thinking about the divorce and whenever the topic is brought up. "She has her ups and downs, especially when she thinks back to happy times with Kanye," according to the insider.
Though she has "definitely" moved on from the relationship and is doing well in general, the source notes, "It is sad for her at times to think about the kids having to deal with their parents being split."
The insider continues, "She tries to put everything behind her and is truly focused on herself, the kids and her future plans," adding that Kim feels it's best that she and her rapper ex don't communicate at this time.
However, that doesn't mean Kanye hasn't had contact with their four kids: North, Saint, Chicago and Psalm West.
The source explains that he has been in L.A. a few times recently to see them and will take them out for day activities. Still, they've only seen their dad a handful of times this year. Instead of in-person visits, their nannies coordinate the kids to FaceTime with and call him, according to the source.
"It's been hard," the insider shares. "He's really focused on creating music in Wyoming and his fashion line, and [he] has been traveling a lot. The kids are accustomed to the situation and are very much settled with Kim in L.A."
While the estranged spouses are adjusting to their individual lives, a separate source exclusively reveals that Kim is not dating anyone at the moment.
"She would like to find someone down to earth and normal," the second source spills. "That hasn't happened yet. She's not in a rush and is happy being single. Eventually she would like to find someone again but it has to be the right person."
As always, her priority is the kids and being a great mom, the second insider adds.
Last week, viewers were transported back to November 2020, when Kim was grappling with her marital problems. As the lawyer-to-be said in a flashback, "He should have a wife that supports his every move and travels with him and does everything and I can't... I feel like a f––king loser."
In the episode, she shut down any talk of divorce at the time. "But I can't even think about that," she said on camera. "I want to be happy."
Kim eventually filed for divorce in February 2021, with E! News reporting at the time that it was a "very amicable" split as the couple grew apart. As early as April, sources shared with E! News that Kim was back to feeling "like herself again" with a "new era" beginning in her life.
E! News has reached out to their reps for comment.