ABC/David Gray, ABC/BOB D'AMICO, ABC/MICHAEL DESMONDJump inside to follow our liveblog of ABC's presentation to advertisers at the Lincoln Center upfront here in New York City.
We've got a sneak peek of the first act of hot new futuristic drama Flash Forward, everything you need to know about ABC's best-looking comedies (including Cougar Town, starring Courteney Cox) and a whole lot of Jimmy Kimmel telling it like it is.
It's good times, we promise...
ABC Upfront Presentation to Advertisers
12:28 p.m.: The ABC presentation to advertisers opens with the whole first act of its new drama show Flash Forward: Joseph Fiennes is married to Penny from Lost, aka Sonya Walger, and they live on a suburban cul-de-sac with their cute kids. After a bit of McMansion-based snuggling, Fiennes heads out to his job as a cop, and then Sonya Walger yells at a fellow doctor on the phone. He missed rounds, and he's in big trouble. Cut to: Lonely guy walks on pier, ponders surfers and/or life. Hey, it's that doc who missed rounds. He takes out his wallet and phone...and a gun! Cut to: Joe Fiennes at an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting, discussing the travails of life with sponsor. Joe Fiennes and cop partner John Cho find themselves in a car chase; absentee doctor prepares to kill himself; youngsters cavort naked; and based on increasing pace of the editing, I'm guessing the flash forward comes...Now!
12:37 p.m.: We see Fiennes' jump to the future, but only his jump. No clue about what Sonya Walger saw, for example. Fiennes appears to be solving a complex crime using a Charlie Crews-style wall of clues.
12:39 p.m.: And we're back in the present on Flash Forward, but everybody is wicked confused about why they blanked out. Sonya Walger's patient may have died on the table, having lost life support. One poor guy is stuck up on a telephone pole. The consequences of the general blackout are that the city is aflame and all hell has broken loose. And we're done with act one. Cue: ABC president Steve McPherson.
12:41 p.m.: McPherson describes Flash Forward as an "intimate epic"—everybody sees three minutes of their future. The show studies "questions of fate." They have a detailed show bible for the whole series—they've learned from Lost that such a thing is very important.
12:44 p.m.: McPherson tells the assembled advertisers that the reason people download or view is not because of the delivery system, it's because of the story.
12:45 p.m.: McPherson comments pleasantly about renewed dramedy Castle starring Nathan Fillion and Stana Katic: "Castle showed a lot of promise for us. It's got two really appealing leads." Go Castle!
12:46 p.m.: McPherson says that Grey's Anatomy and Private Practice have turned out to be a perfect pair.
12:46 p.m.: McPherson says Ugly Betty is a "tent pole" at 9 p.m. on Fridays. Very creative rationalization for placing U.B. in that Friday slot! Whichever TV professional came up with that particular phrasing deserves a bonus.
12:47 p.m.: Lost tribute! They show a montage of our beautiful cast and all the fans, the press coverage and Matthew Fox at Comic-Con. According to this reel, they say "the show that rewrote the book" on TV writes its final chapter in 2010, and then Mr. Voice-over tells us the biggest question of all will be answered, but unless I'm mistaken, they don't actually identify what that question is. What's your pick for biggest unanswered Lost Q?
12:50 p.m.: Freaky montage of ABC actors from different shows sharing scenes together. Jack Shephard and Susan Mayer share a kitchen scene. Teri Hatcher wants to know: "Who's Kate?" Brain explodes.
12:52 p.m.: Clips! If you haven't seen these clips for yourself yet, don't forget that you can watch them all right here at E! Online.
12:55 p.m.: Eastwick promo unwisely includes Jace Everett's "Bad Things" as background music. Um, hello, that's already the True Blood theme song!
12:59 p.m.: Don't know if I'm allowed to say this, but I prefer the part of the Happy Town trailer where it's cute and unrealistic, like Pleasantville, before it turns into the Amityville Horror instead.
1:01 p.m.: Can't wait to see more of Tina Majorino from Veronica Mars and Big Love on the Billy Zane show, The Deep End..
1:02 p.m.: Yay! V trailer. V: The world shakes, but it's not an earthquake. It's them, and they have 29 spaceships that they like to park above our world's capital cities. Morena Baccarin as the alien spokeswoman says: "Don't be frightened. We mean no harm...We're honored and privileged to assist mankind with our knowledge and technology." An evil dink says, "Welcome to the New York mothership. My name is Lisa." And wait, what's this? Alan Tudyk plays as a federale opposite Elizabeth Mitchell?! Holy hell that's going to be amazing. E. Mitchell says of the aliens: "They're arming themselves with the most powerful weapon out there: devotion." Other guy: "What do we do now?" E. Mitchell: "We fight." Whee!
1:06 p.m.: Oh lord. Now there's a clip where Sally Field as Nora Walker from Brothers & Sisters is reading a story to Jimmy Kimmel. He wants to know if it's about monkeys. She tells him to shut up. And now live on the stage is...Jimmy Kimmel.
1:06 p.m.: Jimmy: "Sally Field. What an honor it was for her to act with me." OK, you've got to give the guy credit—he's always quite the trouper at these ABC shindigs. Jimmy's assorted bon mots include the following:
- "Everything you hear this week is bulls--t."
- "These new fall shows we're so excited about? We're gonna cancel 90 percent of them."
- "This show Shark Tank has the word tank right in the title."
- "Every year we lie to you, and every year you come back for more."
- "If the Bachelorette Melissa wins Dancing With the Stars tonight, they're going to do a special show tomorrow night to tell her she didn't."
1:14 p.m.: A title card comes on the screen that says "new comedies." OMG, wait, you mean we didn't even do the comedies yet?! Oy.
1:15 p.m.: Kelsey Grammer's Hank is still Green Acres..."Green Acres is the place to be/ Farm livin' is the life for me..." Dun-dun!
1:22 p.m.: OK, the Cougar Town promo continues to be pretty great.
1:23 p.m.: And now they're showing Modern Family in its entirety.
1:24 p.m.: Meet Phil and Claire, married 16 years. Julie Bowen is Claire.
1:25 p.m.: Meet Jay and Gloria. Gloria is from the Colombian village with the highest murder rate, but since she's a wacky foreigner, she thinks that's funny. Sofia Vergara is Gloria; Ed O'Neill is Jay.
1:27 p.m.: Meet Mitchell and Cameron, together for five years. Documentary interviewer wants to know: If they wanted to have a baby together, why didn't they hire a lesbian friend to be a surrogate mother? Cameron: "They're already so mean, why make one pregnant, too?"
1:27 p.m.: Mitchell and Cameron adopted their daughter from Vietnam.
1:30 p.m.: Mockumentary comedy doesn't liveblog well, but suffice it say, ABC's decision to actually show this whole thing was wise. It is funny and people are laughing...
1:41 p.m.: Wow, I adore Jesse Tyler Ferguson. He was the redhead on Do Not Disturb if you were one of the 63 people that ever watched that.
1:42 p.m.: Gasp! Spoiler/reveal: Jesse Tyler Ferguson and Julie Bowen are Ed O'Neill's kids!
1:42 p.m.: We're at the new baby adoption party now.
1:44 p.m.: LMAO. Seriously LOL. Cameron dramatically carries the new baby into the living room (where everyone is fighting) to the high-volume melody of "Circle of Life" from The Lion King.
1:45 p.m.: Ed as Jay: "Let me see the little pot sticker." It's funny because it's racist.
1:47 p.m.: Steve McPherson: "Thanks everybody, affiliates, ABC entertainment group. Have a great night." I say the same thing, except we have no affiliates or entertainment group. Now, stay tuned for tons of Dancing With the Stars and American Idol news right here at Watch With Kristin!
And check out our gallery of fall's hottest upcoming shows.