Blind Vice: Sorry, Girls! King Schlong Isn't All Yours

King Schlong’s gay past distresses some of his current fans

By Ted Casablanca Mar 18, 2011 2:07 PMTags
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Totally lovable (but totally slutty) King Schlong is a heartbreaker on so many levels, certain Hollywood women are now discovering. Not only has King stepped out on his current super-hot GF (many times), turns out he's also been rather adept at stepping out on the whole female race!

Here's what went down just this week:

Schlong's never been any good at keeping that extremely popular salami of his zipped up, this is a well-known, barely kept Hollywood secret. No surprise there.

But what was a shocker for one of King's avid, young and lusting female fans was the following:

Gorgeous Hollywood insider babe was talking to veteran Hollywood producer gal. "I just love King," she breathlessly confessed to the older woman, "and he's all man. That's what I love about him the most. Such a stud."

"Uh, honey," replied the more seasoned broad, who has worked with King in the past on one of his many A-list projects, "he's not exactly the man you think he is."

"What...what do you mean?" asked the younger T-town gal, who feared the worst (she considered), and pretty much got it.

"A few years ago, I walked in on King and [fellow A-list movie heartthrob], and they were just going at it in bed. So, look, he may be all man, but he doesn't mind sharing it with another man, get it?"

"No!" screamed the frightened woman, as if a man who sleeps with other men in Tinseltown is some kind of anomaly, far from it! "He's not...not gay, is he?"

"No, he's not gay gay," answered the producer-type, who was almost pitifully laughing at her dejected colleague. "But he sleeps with guys when he feels like it. Just don't think he's felt like in a while!"

The broken King fan was feeling a little better after hearing this news but, we gotta say we just don't get this hypocritical BS.

Why is it when women like Angelina Jolie say they've slept with other women, men think it's hot as hell, but when women hear it about men who have done the same with their own sex, they get all grossed out?

Totally sexist. Aren't women supposed to be the more evolved sex, anyway?

It Ain't: Chris O'Donnell, Christian Bale, Matthew McConaughey