AP Photo/Junji KurokawaDear Ted:
Do you think the new Andrew Morton bio on Angelina Jolie will be a good insight into the real Angelina? How are Brad and Angie standing the test of time?
—Kesurface
Dear Bad Bio:
If Morton's Tom Cruise tome is any indication, don't bother with his Angie book. You can find out more goss on the tattooed vixen just by sticking to the Awful Truth. And Brangelina's still playing the same game, keeping those über-smiles stuck on their faces when everyone's watching. More annoying than that gross scruff Brad's growing on his mug, blech. But for the record, hope I'm wrong here and Morton gives us a real Princess Di-style page-turner—just doubt it.
Dear Ted:
Can you please give us a Robsten update?! We haven't seen them together since that night they were stalked by the paps into their hotel lobby. Since you know some deep Twi insiders, can you reassure all of us Robsten fans that everything is still good between them? I'd like to believe that no news is good news, but when Kristen Stewart didn't show at the wrap party, I wasn't sure what to make of it. You can never report on too much Robsten!
—Kdelorit
Dear Worried:
This make ya feel better, hon?
Dear Ted:
I've been a faithful reader for many years, enjoying your juicy gossip on my lunch hour at work and sneaking peaks throughout the day. However, I've been really turned off by all of this Robsten junk. Your Awful Truth should be renamed to be the Awful Truth About Robsten. I took a break from reading your site because (let's be honest) it started boring me to tears for the lack of non-Robsten articles. After a few months, I've returned to check it out only to see that nothing has changed. I'm sure I'm not the only faithful that has lost their faith. You should really rethink making your Awful Truth all about Robsten.
—K.B. Houston
Dear Harsh:
You think there's too much Robsten; the girl above you think there's too little. Can't please everybody. I write the scoops as I get 'em, and a lot of the time, it's Twi-related.
Dear Ted:
Natalie Portman recently compared eating meat to rape, which I think is ridiculous since she signed that Child Rapist's Petition. I think Ms. Portman needs a wake-up call. And I know the perfect man to do it! You! Tell us her Blind Vice! Please?
—Leigh
Dear Portman Hater:
She doesn't need me to spell it out for you.
Dear Ted:
How can anyone really compare Taylor Lautner to Robert Pattinson? This kid has a rockin' little body but a face to guard it! They even make him look down in all of his face-front photos. Rob Pattinson's face is perfect and his body is lean and manly, yummy! Taylor just had abs!
—Awb
Dear Totally Team Rob:
Anyone who's as hideous as your description wouldn't be on the poster for the most drooled-over franchise of today or dating supercutie Taylor Swift. Maybe you're just looking at Tay through Pattz-colored glasses?
Dear Ted:
The David Spade-Chris Farley DirecTV commercial makes me feel very uncomfortable—almost to the point that I feel like showering. Is David Spade so hard up that he'd exploit the image of his dead best friend? Furthermore, it's not seeing Chris Farley in a commercial that gives me the heebie-jeebies, but rather how totally comfortable Spade seems with the whole situation. It really is sad how far some people will go to make a buck.
—A Totally Creeped-Out Fan
Dear Creeped-Out:
Totally agree with you, tho the Farley family also signed off on the commercial. So don't put all the icky blame on Spade.
Dear Ted:
Does Katie Holmes use Suri for attention, or is she genuinely just trying to spend some one-on-one time with her daughter? It has always looked like Katie is somewhat uncomfortable with all the attention, but then she shows up in photos with Suri several times a week. Is she really this hands-on of a parent? Or is there a nanny waiting in the wings that we just don't see in the photo ops?
—Jem
Dear Mommy Manners:
I definitely don't agree with all of Katie's parenting—those tyke high heels still creep me out, and li'l Suri seems to never wear a damn jacket in the winter. But at least she isn't signing Suri up for a reality show. Then again, when you're whole life is documented, what's the difference?
Dear Ted:
As much as Taylor Lautner is my cougar crush, I'm starting to think his personality doesn't match his hot and sexy looks. For him to date Taylor Swift, who's so sweet and innocent, it seems like secretly he probably is, too.
—Kros
Dear Doesn't Know It All:
And what the ef is wrong with a sexy man who can sometimes be sensitive, too? And even then, just 'cause he's dating Tay Swift doesn't mean anything. He might give off good-boy vibes, but you never know how he acts behind closed doors.
Dear Ted:
I've had a crush on Jason Bateman since his It's Your Move days (yes, I am that old). Please tell me that he's as nice/funny/smoking hot as he appears to be?
—Reesie
Dear Teen Wolf 2 Cutie:
Your crush is vouched for. Jase is a total doll. With a great sense of humor, too! And he's got a thing for flirting with me about my biceps. Too bad he's always playing the straight man in his movies.
Dear Ted:
I have a hunch that Robsten is all fake. I've heard rumors about both of them playing for the other team and that both of them are bearding for each other.
—Mook
Dear Hunch Gone Wrong:
Bearding? Please. Their fire for each other is the real deal.
Dear Ted:
I was looking at the Twilight Twitter page (the one run by Summit). They are following almost all of the Twilight stars (Rachelle Lefevre excluded), but none of the stars seem to be following them. Is this because Summit really is that bad to work for?
—Twilight Fan
Dear Social Unnetworking:
They're not following all of them—Robsten's still not on Twitter (at least not a public account we know about). Maybe they just don't need updates on their own damn movie?
Dear Ted:
I'm from Brazil, and a few websites are announcing just now that the New Moon promotional tour might have Brazil on the list. Brazilian fans are flipping out with the possibility of seeing Taylor and K.Stew (including me), and you're the only one I trust to tell us the truth. Do you know anything about it? Really, any piece of info is gonna be extremely helpful. Thanks, darling.
—Daniele
Dear Lucky:
According to the New Moon official website, it looks like the film's dropping in Brazil Nov. 20, but no word yet if the flick's pretty stars will be there. Stay patient, babe!
Dear Ted:
Why is this week's video still not working! I am dying for my fix. Put your foot up somebody's butt why don't you.
—Kim
Dear Tech Problemo:
It's working for me, but I'll see what I can do. In the meantime, read up!
Dear Ted:
I have been obsessed with Matt Bomer since I saw him on Chuck as Bryce Larkin. Now he has a new series on USA network called White Collar. The guy is gorgeous as hell, but there's so little info about him out there. Do you know his relationship status? Is he married? Have a girlfriend? Has he been a B.V. before? Please, please give me some dirt about him. Thanks.
—Jnn
Dear Collar Cutie:
Nix on the Blind Vice, but why are you ruling out a husband or a boyfriend on this mystery man? Don't be so quick to judge!