John Shearer/Getty ImagesWere you totally worried Paris Hilton would be alone forever after breaking things off with Doug Reinhardt? Well, don't worry, 'cause Pare-poo and bathroom-stall bud Dougie are reportedly "figuring things out" about their relaysh in order to get back together.
Please, they've already banged and made up! Dougie's back to Tweeting about spending time with his GF, and friends of the duo say there's nothing to figure out—it's totally on. So unless she's still entirely in denial, consider these dubious dance partners a couple again. This whole on-again, off-again thing is just two fame whores wanting to keep their names in the press as long as possible, especially since P's furious Jon and Kate are still stealing her goss-rag thunder. (Let's hope she doesn't retaliate by breeding her own army of kids anytime soon.)
Has Paris ever gotten back together with a dude she's already dumped? That's like wearing the same outfit twice! Doesn't she know she can't be seen in public adorned with men from last season? So unchic for a fashionista.
These two pretty people might be perfect for each other on the surface, but is Reinhardt the best Pare can get? Certainly looks that way—despite all her efforts of being total A-list, she just can't land an A-list guy. Seriously, P.H. is a bigger bad-man magnet than Jennifer Aniston, and that's saying a lot. For example:
Just rattling off a small list of Paris' former flames: Über-tasteless Rick Salomon released his and P's sex tape. P.H.'s ex Nick Carter may or may not have laid a fist on her, but he did admit to cheating on her with Ashlee Simpson. And sure, we actually liked Benji Madden, but the rocker dude's not exactly tall, dark and handsome, and Good Charlotte isn't exactly U2. Fine, upstanding men who are actually drool-worthy won't go anywhere near the socialite, which must make it easier for Paris to wave each one off after a couple of months.
Our advice for some long-lasting love? Ditch these disastrous and drama-loving boys and set your sights on a real stud.
Someone with pedigree, like cuties Ryan Gosling or John Krasinski, not obvious schmuck choices like anybody from The Hills. How about Leo DiCaprio? He's newly single, and we know he's totally a bar-hopping lover at heart! Plus, he's got the Oscar noms and A-list appeal you so desperately need in a companion—and we certainly wouldn't mind seeing Leo get dirty on the dancefloor as you so loved to do with Doug. Some of L.D.'s respect would transfer to you, and then people might actually start liking you as opposed to loving to hate you.
But who are we kidding here? Also, Leo's more of a modelizer than a socialite schtupper. How about newbie hottie Chris Pine? He's already smooched tabloid junkies Lindsay Lohan (on film in Just My Luck) and Audrina Patridge (in real life). We doubt he'd say no to a date with the queen of spoiled celebrity.
—Additional reporting by Becky Bain