Do-Me Meter: G.I. Joe vs. Iron Man 2!

Which hot summer flick has the more sizzling cast?

By Ted Casablanca Jul 27, 2009 1:49 PMTags
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Thanks to Comic-Con and the sizzlin' summer heat, we're totally hungry for pretty popcorn flicks starring scorching stars. And thank horny heavens there are a ton o' hot pieces of movie tail to choose from!

At the top of the beauteous pile, tho, are clearly two front-runners as the hottest blockbuster babes: G.I. Joe's Channing Tatum and Iron Man 2's Scarlett Johansson. (Sure, IM2 won't be released until next May, but ScarJo's totally whetting our appetite with the released promo stills of her in action.) Both hons are in A-list movies that are competing for their respective summer seasons, and both Chan and Scar are young, fresh newlyweds with careers that are totally on fire. But which action throbber is more doable?

Tough call. In fact, it's too close to call. We're caught between a ScarJo rack and Channing's hard abs. Guess it's a draw?

But...what if we factor in their costars to pick which flick will be the sexiest? In that regard, it's obvious that the hotter cast is...

G.I. Joe, by a landslide.

Now, we're just talking doability. Some of you yelled at us when we said the Twilight cast was hotter than Harry Potter's, since a lot of you think the H.P. kids are more talented than Robsten & Co. (How dare you!). Obviously we think Iron Man 2 is gonna kick G.I. Joe's butt in the quality department. But when it comes to pure, unadulterated sex appeal?

Rise of the Cobra's covered all of its bases. Joseph Gordon-Levitt's got the cute, hipster thing down pat. Dennis Quaid's still lookin' fine after all these years and Rachel Nichols is a totally ripped up-and-coming babe. And even though we consider Sienna Miller's off-screen behavior total yuck, we have to admit we know why married men all over fall for her.

Sorry, IM2 amigos. Robert Downey Jr. and ScarJo are dripping with sexual ooze, but Gwyneth Paltrow and Mickey Rourke totally cancel out your hotness factor. Like, totally. Mick's, well, an acquired taste, and Gwyn's too goopy to give a second look.

Looks like the G.I. Joe crew's the winner! Congrats, it'll probably be the only thing that movie ever wins, besides maybe a Razzie.