Bitch-Back! Does Harry Potter Magic Trump R.Pattz?

Readers defend the Harry Potter crew, not so much Nikki Reed

By Ted Casablanca Jul 18, 2009 6:33 PMTags
Rupert Grint, Emma Watson, Daniel RadcliffeTim Whitby/Getty Images

Dear Ted:
Movie hotness aside, I think your comparison of Harry Potter and Twilight is a little one-sided (which was your intention, I know). Stephenie Meyer's books are about sex and only sex. Sure, she added vamps and werewolves, but the message is "Don't have sex until you're married, it's bad, but then it's wonderful." The H.P. books are about growing up and dealing with all the problems associated, not just sex. And J. K. Rowling doesn't paint a fake, happily ever after picture of the world either.
—Cathy

Dear Wrong Reasoning:
I don't care what the movies are about or about the talent involved, all I care is how smoldering the actors are on the carpet. And the Twilight cast wins, hands-down.

Dear Ted:
Sarah Palin seemed like she was going to break into a hysterical screaming fit throughout most of that bizarre press conference. Is the real reason she is resigning because there is some awful scandal about her looming on the horizon about to come out? I truly hope so. I cannot stand that woman or her politics.
—Leighanne

Dear Palin Problems:
Anything Sar's got hidden away couldn't be more embarrassing than what we already know about her. Then again...

Dear Ted:
Why doesn't Jennifer Aniston hook up with Matthew Perry? They were Friends, and both are single. Thoughts?
—awalker

Dear Friends Without Benefits:
'Cause Matthew's a nice guy, and Jen doesn't date those types, duh. Tho we're still crossing our fingers for Bradley Cooper to commit. Bet Jen is, too!

Dear Ted:
I saw The Proposal a week or so ago and absolutely loved it. But I couldn't get past something: Sandra Bullock looked so skinny! She's always been thin, but it looked a lot more extreme in some of the shots. Any cause to worry for her? I hope not, because she's always seemed like one of the more down-to-earth women in Hollywood.
—ticklemekatie

Dear Propose a Meal:
S.B.'s down-to-earth for sure, but that doesn't mean she isn't falling under the pressure to be chicly emaciated like all the 20-something babes snagging parts that would have first been offered to her 15 years ago. Good thing The Proposal showcases why I really like Sandra—her charm, not her tiny bod. There's no cause for worry...yet.

Dear Ted:
I think I've figured it out about Nevis Divine. You gave it away with the body-paint parts. It's Edward Norton, right? He had to wear a ton of green makeup when he played the Hulk for the transition scenes. So, anything you can tell us about the fella he took to the soiree years ago? Is the fella also in the Biz? Is he, too, famous, or still up and coming? And has he met Nevis' GF, or are they arch rivals?
—imqaatdbru

Dear No on Norton:
You seem so sure of yourself! Too bad, doll, it ain't Ed. Wrong level of heartthrob, entirely.

Dear Ted:
If Summit's going to these extreme lengths to fabricate some sort of relaysh between Robert Pattinson and Emilie de Ravin (i.e. the paps on the set, hundreds of pics a day, tabloids, etc.), I'm guessing Robsten is more than just "dating." No PR person spends this amount of time and money covering up a "teenage romance." Never followed gossip so closely. And sorry I was on the other side with Brangelina. Still love Jen more than Angie. Friends was my fave.
—Ann Marie

Dear Cover-Up:
Emilie 'n' Rob rumors not only cover up Robsten, but promote the heck out of Remember Me, too, how clever. And as far as Jen goes, have you liked any of her stuff since Friends? I sure haven't!

Dear Ted:
Why do you have to talk about Nikki Reed in such a bad way? I mean, you say that she really isn't that bad, but you treat her like she's the Antichrist.
mizzchia

Dear Cross to Bear:
I don't talk about people I don't admire in some fashion or another. Period.

Dear Ted:
Are Ryan Reynolds and Scarlett Johansson closet nerds?
—Lance

Dear Hot Geeks:
Of course they are. They both write for the Huffington Post. And Ry, you'll of course remember, was engaged to Alanis Morissette. That speaks volumes on R2 behind closed doors. I don't see Lani dating anyone without at least three quarters of a brain.

Dear Ted:
This week's Truth, Lies & Ted... me-ow! Little bitchiness toward Tyra Banks, huh? You looked fab, by the way—keep up the great gossip work!
—Char

Dear Bitch Banking:
Thanks, C, that shameless diva deserves every verbal clawing, and then some.

Dear Ted:
I can't believe how the Robsten fans are calling Robert Pattinson's leading lady, Emilie De Ravin, a media whore. They need to stop comparing her to Nikki Reed. It's ridiculous. Honestly, she's the sweetest girl I've met!
—Nady

Dear Sweetness:
Are you talking about Nikki or Emilie?

Dear Ted:
We know that Nikki Reed is out of the picture now, but I'm curious, did she ever has a thing with Rob? Did they ever hook up or anything? Or is it just a rumor to cover up Robsten? And what makes you so positively confident that Robsten is on and Kristen and Michael Angarano are over? We never have real proof, not even a picture?
—inzaghi_1986

Dear Over and Out:
When's the last time you saw K.S. out with M.A.? Sure, they talk and stuff—but, babe, that's only...stuff. Most exes stay in touch, to some degree, or another. And the lack of pictures for Robsten speaks louder than words for those two. Nikki's a thing of Rob's past, by the by.

Dear Ted:
I don't know whether you made or wrecked my day by mentioning that David Boreanaz has been a Blind Vice. Willing to give us any hints on which one?
—wave412

Dear Hint:
He's not Nevis Divine! The rest you will have to figure out on your own. And it's more about his temper than his crotch.

Dear Ted:
Please obliterA.T.e the silly capitalization within your Bitch-Back! section. I've been following your fabulosity almost six years and have never complained about any of the format or content decisions, even the questionable ones. But this! Have mercy on your postpuberty readers.
—Lauren

Dear Oops:
Technical glitch, I swear! Though a very convenient-appearing one, I must admit. The A.T. ain't that desperate for subliminal promotion. Should be all fixed now.

Dear Ted:
I have many questions I'd like to ask concerning celebrities or gossip, and this is the first time I am writing to you, but I am too moved by the loss of Butch. Please know I do offer my sincere sympathies and think about you adjusting to the loss of him. I am an animal lover, and have rescued many cats at our local shelter. Please accept my heartfelt thoughts and prayers for you, Butch and the rest of your family.
—Brenda

Dear Brenda Love:
Thanks, B, very much appreciated.

Dear Ted:
Was browsing your column just now and noticed a lot of True Blood references. I love that show! It has nothing to do with the current vampire craze—I have not seen, nor care to see Twilight, not adult enough for myself I am sure. Loved vamps as a kid, and my first job was at age 16 in a movie theater the year one of my fave vamp films, The Hunger, was released, thus I have the original lobby poster framed. I could tell you are a T.B. fan based on what I read. I am addicted. I saw this week's episode last night, loved it!
—Michael H. 

Dear Blood Brothers:
Same here, the whole A.T. crew adores the show that can switch between funny and freaky any sec. Sometimes we feel like we're cheating on Twilight, but then again, we gotta get our vamp fix until New Moon comes out, right?

Dear Ted:
Good morning, sunshine! While my better half is still asleep, I've taken the opportunity to slip away and ask you a question that's had us rankled for a few weeks now, regarding "good guys" in the Biz. My boyfriend is convinced that über-stars, like Will Smith in particular, are just normal dudes who schlep it out at work and then come home to a nice, normal family afterward. No drama, so sexual deviation. When I, being a natural skeptic, professed my doubts, tensions heightened. So what's your say on this, oh sagacious voice of Hollywood wisdom?
Kira

Dear Nosy:
There is nothing "normal" about the Pinkett-Smiths' personal lives. Nada. But that doesn't mean there's something wrong about their living sitch. What you might call "sexually deviant," they might consider totally cool, right? Weirdness is in the eye of the beholder, is it not?