Gwyneth Paltrow's Blind Items Not as Fun as Ours!

The Goopstress gets into the gossip game for once--ain't it fun?

Is Gwyneth Paltrow getting fed up with being the butt of gossip stories? Appears so! Gwynie's getting her own rumor revenge by taking to her Goop blog (as opposed to a Twitter—puh-leeze, girl, get with the times) to rat out a former "frenemy" who tried to take Gwyn down a notch or two.

This Blind Vice of Paltrow's needs a name à la Toothy Tile, don't you agree? How about Trinona Flyder? What, too obvious?

Gwyn's "blind" items are as boring as her recent movies, or her marriage. Unless, of course, all fingers pointing to Winona is just a red herring for the true identity of Paltrow's former pal...

Madonna, duh. Think G.P.'s happy her bestie is leaving her in Londontown all alone for New York? And we didn't hear any comments from Gwyn-doll about Madge's adoption failure, which even M's spiteful ex, Guy, was able to muster out.

Who's even left in Britain for Gwyn to bitch to about? Chris Martin? Amy Winehouse? The Britain's Got Talent lady? Or just her Goop blog?