Denise Truscello, Fame Pictures, Inc
Lauren Conrad and Miley Cyrus are skipping big steps in celebrity branding—babes are passing right over releasing a fragrance and going straight to writing their own books.
In Miles to Go, the Disney ho shares her “inspiring story, spanning from her Southern roots in Tennessee to the excitement of her record-setting triumphs.” The best part is the “novel” is even equipped with doodles! Wonder if this is reflective of Justin’s maturity level, too?
If tales of legal gals are more your style, the Hills hon blogs ‘bout her brand-new three-part series of books, L.A. Candy, calling them “a behind-the-scenes story of a young girl who moves to L.A. and unexpectedly becomes the star of a reality television show...Some of the characters may symbolize people in my life, but it is in no way calling anyone out.”
So when the Bridie and Flencer characters elope in Tijuana and start an evil plan of world domination—that’s just pure fiction, folks. Just like these other celeb-written works of fine literature:
The English Roses by Madonna
The woman who once published a book called Sex decided to write children’s books? At least she’s got an audience . We bet Jesus Luz asks Madge to read her books to him while tucking him into bed each night.
The Truth About Diamonds by Nicole Richie
Nicole penned this work of “fiction” (with more than a little help, like any idiot didn’t know that) about a gal named Chloe Parker, adopted by a music superstar who spends her time either in H'wood nightclubs or rehab. What an imagination Nic has!
Swan by Naomi Campbell
Naomi allegedly admitted she hadn’t written a word of this novel about a blackmailed supermodel, despite Campbell being listed as author. Oh, Naomi—how gullible do you think we are?
Will Cyrus and Conrad’s novels stack up against these books, and will anyone wanna read about a story they can see on TV for free? We almost shudder saying this, but Laur, just stick with fashion. And Miles, do you really need to make any more money? No poor trees should die for these books. But then Nic’s ghostwritten ghastliness did sell, so what the ef do I know?
—Additional reporting by Becky Bain