Ben "Cooter" Jones has a message for fans eager to check out the soon-to-be released Dukes of Hazzard movie: Stay home, y'all.
The straight-talking Jones, who played the mechanic to the General Lee in television's Dukes from 1979-85, says he has no use for the updated feature film version of the classic and he reckons that true Dukes disciples won't either.
Interest in the Dukes of Hazzard series still runs high, with a new generation catching Hazzard fever after CMT began airing reruns this year, earning the network some of its highest ratings to date.
However, according to Jones, the movie ain't nothing but a distant relation to the television series--a different branch on the family tree altogether.
In an open letter to fans on his website, CootersPlace.com, Jones lays out the numerous reasons why he won't be standing in line at the box office on Aug. 5.
For one, the former actor, who served two terms as a Georgia congressman and currently operates a Dukes memorabilia store, is indignant over the fact that he and other original cast members were not consulted about the film.
The big-screen edition of Dukes stars Seann William Scott and Johnny Knoxville as Bo and Luke Duke and Jessica Simpson as Daisy Duke, while David Koechner appears in the role of Cooter.
"You probably know that the creators of this film wanted absolutely nothing to do with the original members of the cast," Cooter writes. "Doesn't that seem strange to you, given how popular our show is right now and how popular our cast still is? After all, our huge success for so many years is the reason they are making the film, and the film, after all, is about us."
(Or it's about a fictional pair of cousins, their car and their battles with the authorities of Hazzard County. But why quibble over details?)
However, what really sticks in the craw of the original Cooter Davenport is the kind of "toilet humor" that pervades the movie's script, ruining the "positive values" established by the television series.
"Like you, I haven't seen the film, but I have read the script, I've talked to a lot of people who worked on the set, and I've seen the raunchy TV commercial," Jones writes. "Frankly, I think the whole project shows an arrogant disrespect for our show, for our cast, for America's families and for the sensibilities of the heartland of our country."
In his letter, Jones calls for the powers that be behind the film to clean it up--or else.
"Unless they clean it up before the Aug. 5 release date I would strongly recommend that true blue Dukes fans hold their noses and pass this one up," Jones advises. "And whatever you do, don't take any youngsters to see it. As plain as I can put it, the only thing this movie shares with our show is the title.
"Sure it bothers me that they wanted nothing to do with the cast of our show, but what bothers me much more is the profanity laced script with blatant sexual situations that mocks the good clean family values of our series."
It's not the first time Jones has mouthed off about the Dukes transition to the big screen.
Two years ago, back when Britney Spears was being considered for the role of Daisy Duke, Jones told E! Online it was a "ludicrous idea" to think that Spears could play the part.
Jones' ire towards the film isn't the only negative publicity the project has received.
Earlier this month, Warner Bros. was forced to pony up a serious wad of cash to Georgia-based producer Robert C. Clark after Clark filed a lawsuit claiming the studio had infringed on the copyright to his 1975 film Moonrunners, which inspired the original Dukes of Hazzard television series.
After Clark was awarded an injunction in the matter, Warners paid him a settlement of at least $17.5 million to ensure that the film would open on time.
That kind of cash buys a lot of General Lees.