Along with the retinue of dog trainers, gardeners, maids and minders hired by the Osbournes, the family might want to consider a live-in drug counselor.
Kelly Osbourne, the middle child in MTV's dysfunctional clan, has entered rehab for addiction to painkillers, according to her flamboyant parents who appeared on CNN's Larry King Live on Friday.
According to a subsequent statement from her publicist, "Kelly has taken the first step towards taking care of her health and is thankful for the support of her family."
The 19-year-old, who copped to the problem "after a lot of twisting," was driven to Malibu's Promises rehabilitation center by her younger brother, Jack--who's just about to celebrate a year's sobriety.
Jack, 18, spent a stint in a Pasadena clinic center last year for addiction to OxyContin, marijuana and alcohol.
The troubled twosome, whose wild ways have been frequently captured on camera, have an older sister, Aimee, who refuses to take part in the family's reality series, which returns to MTV for a third season Apr. 6.
Of course, the kids have nothing on hard-partying dad Ozzy, who has a long history of drug and alcohol abuse. The Prince of F--king Darkness spent three months in rehab in 1989, after he tried to choke Sharon in a drunken stupor.
In fact, Ozzy's currently embroiled in a conflict with a doctor he paid $650,0000 to help kick a prescription drug habit, per the Los Angeles Times.
The heavy-metal icon has filed a complaint with California's medical board against a Beverly Hills physician he claims overprescribed addictive drugs to him.
According to the Black Sabbath frontman, drugs such as Dexedrine, Valium and Zyprexa--and not years of hard living--led to his dazed and confused demeanor on The Osbournes reality series.
Authorities have scheduled a sit-down with Dr. David Kipper, Ozzy and Sharon to review the singer's medical records since 2002, when Ozzy retained the doctor's services.
Kelly, on the other hand, was less forthcoming about her addictions.
Indeed, the 'rents only found out after an English tabloid approached them Friday with a photo of the "Papa Don't Preach" singer engaged in an apparent drug deal on Sunset Boulevard.
Ozzy told King that his daughter, who's working on her next album, denied having a stash of drugs but that a family maid found a stockpile of pills under her bed.
"So, the bag was delivered to me, and I opened this bag and it was full of pills...There must have been 500 pills," Ozzy said.
Sharon described herself as angry and let down by the experience. When asked for advice on how to steer children away from drugs, she answered, "I'm a failure...How can I give anybody advice."
Her famous hubby chalked the addiction up to a "family illness."