Matt Damon, Bruce Willis and Jennifer Lopez's "decoy brides" need new weekend plans.
Damon, Willis and potentially as many as three fake J.Lo's reportedly were among the estimated 400 people expected to participate in the nuptials of Jennifer Lynn Lopez to Benjamin Geza Affleck.
Make that the postponed nuptials.
The Lopez-Affleck wedding, widely speculated to have been set for Sunday in Santa Barbara, California, was called off Wednesday on account of, well, wide speculation.
"Due to the excessive media attention surrounding our wedding, we have decided to postpone the date," Affleck and Lopez said in a joint statement. "When we found ourselves seriously contemplating hiring three separate 'decoy brides' at three different locations, we realized that something was awry."
"We began to feel that the spirit of what should have been the happiest day of our lives could be compromised," the two said. "We felt what should have been a joyful and sacred day could be spoiled for us, our families and our friends."
That far-off stampede you hear is the nation's entertainment media decamping from their stakeouts at the Sotto II Monte, the Four Seasons Biltmore, Casa Oprah Winfrey and any other number of posh Santa Barbara area venues rumored to have been reserved for use in the tabloid wedding of the year.
The change in plans was pointedly referred to as a postponement, not a cancelation. By all accounts, Lopez and Affleck remain Bennifer, Hollywood's hottest hot couple not known as DemiAshton.
Buzz has it that the two stars intend to seal their deal at another time, at possibly another locale.
While this development likely is disconcerting to The Wedding Planner's real-life wedding planner, imagine how reporters feel. Infotainment types have descended on the usually tranquil Santa Barbara region en masse since a report last week said Affleck and Lopez intended to do their ring exchange there on Sept. 14.
Us Weekly seemed to have the soiree all sewn up: wedding and reception at the Sotto II Monte, an Italian-style villa in Montecito, California; wedding bands by Harry Winston; and the bride's hair by Oribe.
Early Wednesday, other reports had the ceremony going down at Our Lady of Mount Carmel, also in Montecito, with reception to follow--maybe--at Oprah Winfrey's 42-acre Montecito pad, according to E! Online gossip columnist Ted Casablanca. The Four Seasons Biltmore hotel in Santa Barbara reportedly was to provide catering services (in the form of elaborate, cell phone-equipped gift baskets) for the event.
According to Us Weekly, Damon, Willis, Jack Nicholson, Colin Farrell, Matthew Perry and Alec Baldwin were to be among the more famous members of the wedding party. Casey Affleck, the would-be groom's brother, had been cast as best man. Vera Wang was to provide behind-the-scenes support as Lopez's dress designer.
Prospective guests, reportedly under orders to congregate Saturday in Los Angeles and await further instructions, were notified Wednesday that the weekend wedding was off, sources told E! News Daily.
The wedding watch for Lopez, 33, and Affleck, 31, was on before they even confirmed their engagement last November. The two met on the set of their summer bomb Gigli and came out as a couple while filming Jersey Girl, due for release early next year. (Following the dismal box office of Gigli, the two reportedly have sworn off future onscreen pairings.)
Prior to the Santa Barbara debacle, the Hollywood couple had been rumored to be tying the knot in locations relatively near (Hawaii), far (Scotland) and inexplicable (Atlanta).
Affleck once even joked to the Associated Press that the ceremony was set for "Namibia on Nov. 15. So, you go ahead and fly on down, and we'll see you there," he said.
While the media scrutiny has been intense, Lopez, at least is a veteran of the wedding, if not, marriage business. She has had two prior walks down the aisle, resulting in fewer than two years' worth of wedded bliss (combined).
Affleck is a lifelong bachelor who spent his summer living down an innocent, he says, visit to a Canadian house of exotic dancing.
This week, a British tab claimed Bennifer had a prenup agreement that gave the Jennifer half the right to sue for the Ben half's earnings if the Ben half cheated.
Sound complicated? Try hiring three decoy brides on short notice.