John Mayer would like to apologize for that epically long and obnoxious Playboy interview he did earlier. Well, not all of it (sorry, Jess!), just this one racist part, and there was more than one of those, so we'll be specific.
It all started when he was describing (what else?) himself: "I am a very…I'm just very. V-E-R-Y. And if you can't handle very, then I'm a douche bag. But I think the world needs a little very. That's why black people love me."
And then he used the N-word...
"Someone asked me the other day, 'What does it feel like now to have a hood pass?' And by the way, it's sort of a contradiction in terms, because if you really had a hood pass, you could call it a n---er pass. Why are you pulling a punch and calling it a hood pass if you really have a hood pass? But I said, 'I can't really have a hood pass. I've never walked into a restaurant, asked for a table and been told, 'We're full.'"
This afternoon, he took to his Twitter to apologize for the using the word.
"Re: using the 'N word' in an interview: I am sorry that I used the word. And it's such a shame that I did because the point I was trying to make was in the exact opposite spirit of the word itself. It was arrogant of me to think I could intellectualize using it, because I realize that there's no intellectualizing a word that is so emotionally charged."
He goes on:
"And while I'm using today for looking at myself under harsh light, I think it's time to stop trying to be so raw in interviews...It started as an attempt to not let the waves of criticism get to me, but it's gotten out of hand and I've created somewhat of a monster. I wanted to be a blues guitar player. And a singer. And a songwriter. Not a shock jock. I don't have the stomach for it. Again, because I don't want anyone to think I'm equivocating: I should have never said the word and I will never say it again."
Well, at least he's apologizing for something, and being less awful in interviews is a good idea. But what about his other weird racist bit about his white supremacist penis that somehow segued into calling Kerry Washington "white-girl crazy"?
"My d--k is sort of like a white supremacist. I've got a Benetton heart and a f--kin' David Duke c--k. I'm going to start dating separately from my d--k. I always thought Holly Robinson Peete was gorgeous. Every white dude loved Hilary from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. And Kerry Washington. She's superhot, and she's also white-girl crazy. Kerry Washington would break your heart like a white girl. Just all of a sudden she'd be like, 'Yeah, I sucked his d--k. Whatever.' And you'd be like, 'What? We weren't talking about that.'"
Hmmm, maybe Kerry will just have join Jessica Simpson in boxing class to work through some frustration.
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It was nice of John to at least acknowledge how awful he can be, but he's going to have to do a lot more to work his way out of our What a Douche! gallery.