Well, no one's ever accused The Celebrity Apprentice of making relevant casting choices in the past. Why should this year be any different?
NBC has unveiled the 14 "celebrities" who will compete for the chance to be Donald Trump's errand boy (or girl) when the third season of the reality show kicks off March 14.
Sadly, not even two months' prep time may be enough to hype this list of contenders: Sharon Osbourne is arguably the best-known competitor, and she'll be joined by the has-been likes of Cyndi Lauper, Bret Michaels, Holly Robinson Peete, TV chef Curtis Stone, Victoria's Secret model Selita Ebanks, Sinbad, and athletes Darryl Strawberry and Michael Johnson, among others.
And, a full nine months after they wanted him—and anybody cared about him—the Peacock can finally count disgraced former Gov. Rod Blagojevich as one of its wannabe apprenti.
Um, score?
Per usual, nepotism beneficiaries Ivanka and Donald Trump Jr. will serve as their dad's right-hand people in the boardroom, as will longtime adviser George Ross. Once again, a "rotating seat" will also be filled by business heavyweights.
This time around, the teams will be divided into men and women. The last star standing will not only be named the Celebrity Apprentice, but will receive a presumably hefty donation in their name to their charity of choice.
Introducing a new insult into the pop culture lexicon is encouraged, but not required. (Not that anyone could hope to top Joan Rivers' infamous rant.)
Here are this year's competitors:
MEN'S TEAM
• Darryl Strawberry, former MLB all-star
• Bret Michaels, Poison frontman turned VH1 hot mess
• Bill Goldberg, two-time WWE World Heavyweight Champion
• Michael Johnson, Olympic track and field gold medalist
• Rod Blagojevich, disgraced former Illinois governor
• Sinbad, comedian
• Curtis Stone, TV chef
WOMEN'S TEAM
• Cyndi Lauper, singer-songwriter
• Sharon Osbourne, first lady of reality TV
• Holly Robinson Peete, actress and children's book author
• Selita Ebanks, Victoria's Secret model
• Maria Kanellis, WWE wrestler
• Carol Leifer, comedian, writer and producer
• Summer Sanders, Olympic swimming gold medalist
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