ABC, E!UPDATE: Count the Heenes among the graduates of the Jon Gosselin School of Grammar and Spelling. In a hastily scribbled note on their front door this morning, the family made clear they would not be looking for any more camera time. Make that, any more voluntary camera time.
"Thank you for all of your support," the sign read. "We are not taking any interview any more. We are tired. Thank you. Heenes."
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Remember Thursday afternoon when the Balloon Boy story was all about a little boy and the world held its breath for the kid's poor parents?
Well, now it's all about baseball metaphors.
After a bodily function-filled round of the morning shows, Richard Heene and his family have passed the spokesperson baton to their new lawyer, Denver-based David Lane. In the wake of authorities raiding the family's home and Larimer County Sheriff James Alderden announcing criminal charges on the way, he's tying his cleats.
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"At this point, we're in a position of a batter standing in the batter's box waiting for a pitcher to throw a pitch," Lane told Matt Lauer on the Today show. "You can't swing until a pitcher throws the ball. Until I can look at what the evidence is in this case, we're left in the dark, in terms of what the sheriff's department claims they've got."
He told Good Morning America we can expect those pitches—ones he called "relatively minor" on Fox News Channel's Geraldo at Large last night—to come "either late today or tomorrow," and, he promises, the Heenes intend to turn themselves in as soon as they do. He also talked about the potential for "child abuse," that shady telephone timeline and how he's watching every move the law enforcement officers make.
When asked about allegations that the Heenes called local media before 911 when they supposedly thought their child was floating far above them, Lane sounded a bit skeptical.
"I want to see the timeline," he insisted. "I want to see records of telephone usage. There have been multiple telephones involved in this. I want to see it. Let's see what the evidence shows. I can't comment on it because I haven't seen it.
And while Lane told GMA that Falcon and brothers Bradford and Rayo are "well-adjusted and happy little boys," he expressed fear of the effect watching dad and mom Mayumi in handcuffs may have on them.
"Law enforcement arresting mom and dad in the presence of kids, whether mom and dad are guilty, innocent or somewhere in between, that's child abuse," he told Today. "That's traumatic for kids."
Of course, the irony in that is that child protective services is already conducting an investigation into the Heenes.
"That is for social services to determine. Putting their kids on TV, there's certainly plenty of worse cases of child abuse that I can talk about within three seconds," Lane said in response to the possibility that abuse of some sort was already present.
Instead, Lane is focusing his concerns on the way the case is being handled.
"Law enforcement has certain standards under the Constitution that they have to conduct themselves by," he told GMA. "If they step over any lines, it is my job to slap them down, and I will if they do."
Sounds like he's already warming up on deck.
(Originally published on Oct. 19, 2009 at 5:32 a.m. PT)
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