Joanna & Derek Excel at Crotch-Fueled Dancing

11 remaining celebs try out four new dances, including the lambada

It was any era but ours on Dancing With the Stars tonight.

The 11 remaining celebs were asked to bring it to four new styles of dance—country two-step, lambada, bolero and Charleston—all of which brought us to another place or time, be it the Jazz Age or 1990, when The Forbidden Dance battled Lambada at the box office.

Well, maybe "battled" is the wrong word... 

Anyway, the actors had a leg up when it came to playing a character (i.e., '20s flapper) and the long-legged hotties held the advantage when it came to hip-swiveling Brazilian sensuality.

But we love any night on DWTS when lifts are allowed and even the pros have to experiment outside their comfort zones.

Here's how they coped...

Chuck Liddell & Anna Trebunskaya: Turns out the country two-step wasn't the dance that was going to make the UFC champ look light on his feet after all. Chuck was his usual charming self, and for a nonprofessional he looked like the kind of guy you'd want hoisting you into the air, but otherwise…He spent most of the time walking around the floor while Anna twirled around him. The performance was believable enough, though, to have Carrie Ann Inaba picturing him two-stepping in any ol' Texas honky-tonk.
Score: 17

Melissa Joan Hart & Mark Ballas: The '20s came roaring back tonight in the form of Melissa Joan Hart, whose Charleston was the cat's pajamas (i.e., her best dance of the season)! Maybe because the routine required more acting than usual, but the former teen star finally lost the nerves and performed at a high level all the way through. "You had the role 110 percent!" raved Bruno Tonioli, who rewarded her with her first 10 for her efforts. "That is your dance," Carrie Ann agreed.
Score: 28

Natalie Coughlin & Alec Mazo: We wouldn't know the bolero from the rumba if it hit us in the face, but whatever excuse Nat and Alec have to look all sexy like that…why not? Another flowing, barely-there dress. More grace and flexibility. What could go wrong? "I'm kind of on the fence," Carrie Ann said, noting that Natalie struggled a bit more with this week's slow Latin dance than she did with last week's slow Latin dance. "I thought it had a most beautiful, lyrical movement to it," countered Len Goodman, while Bruno appreciated the Sharon Stone-in-Basic Instinct vibe.
Score: 24

Aaron Carter & Karina Smirnoff: Even before Karina landed on her knee with a thud when Aaron missed the final lift, the former tween star probably wasn't going to land himself a role in The Forbidden Dance II. He nailed his opening acrobatics, but the rest of his performance was more daddy longlegs than praying mantis. "The character of this is Gilles Marini—you're not doing that," Bruno pointed out, while even the usually proper Len wanted more raunch.
Score: 18

Mark Dacascos & Lacey Schwimmer: We believe Chuck Liddell wins in the two-step believability department. The Iron Chef America chairman is a much better dancer, however, so this time we could actually see what the two-step entails—despite the myriad mistakes. Lacey pretty much stole the show, and we sensed more awkwardness in Mark's performance than the judges did, but it's hard not to root for him. "You should have a roll in the hay more often!" Bruno exclaimed.
Score: 22

Kelly Osbourne & Louis van Amstel: Sporting Liza Minnelli's look from Cabaret, Kelly turned in an absolutely adorable Charleston—though you can't help but watch her perform with bated breath, as if you're either going to witness something great or a meltdown. Len would have liked "a bit more swivel," but Carrie Ann compared watching Kelly dance to "watching a little birdie getting her wings and learning to fly."
Score: 23

Joanna Krupa & Derek Hough: Well, that was raunchy. It's kind of a blur, actually—Derek took his shirt off and then everything went white. But from what we saw through the fog, it looked like what Len would call a "proper lambada." "I tell you folks, don't try this at home without taking necessary precaution!" Bruno admonished the audience. "Let's just say, I hope the children were in bed," agreed Carrie Ann. "But it worked!" she added. "[The lambada] is fueled by the crotch area."
Score: 26

Donny Osmond & Kym Johnson: Are you surprised that Donny was great at the Charleston? Neither are we. "You look good, you dance good, and watching...does you good," Len said appreciatively. Carrie Ann noticed a stumble and Bruno wished his kicks were sharper, but both admitted that the veteran entertainer was in his element.
Score: 24

Michael Irvin & Anna Demidova: There wasn't much dance in their bolero, but we've been Cowboy fans and will be until the NFL Hall of Famer is retired from this competition permanently. "It was slightly economic with the movement, I agree," Len said, though he appreciated what he saw enough to give them a 6, two more points than he allowed last week. "Your dancing is a little bit like the economy," Bruno observed. "Every week it's supposed to be getting better, but nothing happens."
Score: 16

Louie Vito & Chelsie Hightower: Chelsie may never have danced this style before, either, but she managed to look like a veteran cowgirl. We're big Louie fans, but that was more walkin' than two-steppin'. Where's John Travolta's Urban Cowboy when you need him? "It was just a series of walks!" Len protested. "For a two-step, it was slightly dazed and confused," added Bruno, who called the timing "a bit dubious."
Score: 16

Mya & Dmitry Chaplin: From start to finish, Mya and Dmitry's lambada was simply the best dance of the night. Sexy, sophisticated and technically sound, it seemingly had everything the judges could want. But wouldn't you know it, Len thought he was "going to get a bit more" from them. Bruno, however, found it to be an "erotic, exotic roller coaster," and he and Carrie Ann both had the 10s to prove it.
Score: 28

Shakira performs tomorrow night, and another celeb will be sent packing. Here's how tonight's performances stacked up, according to the leaderboard:

Melissa & Mark: 28
Mya & Dmitry: 28
Joanna & Derek: 26
Donny & Kym: 24
Natalie & Alec: 24
Kelly & Louis: 23
Mark & Lacey: 22
Aaron & Karina: 18
Chuck & Anna: 17
Louie & Chelsie: 16
Michael & Anna D.: 16