New Kate vs. Old Kate: Who's the Worst?

It's a battle of the ladies that once had, or now have, Jon Gosselin's attention (not that that's a good thing)

Hey guys, have you heard about all this Jon Gosselin stuff? Just kidding, of course you have.

We all know how he's with this new lady friend that happens to have the same first name as his soon-to-be ex-wife. Bananas! It's like something right out of a basic cable reality show's desperate publicity stunt.

Now, since this is all really happening, it seems like a good time to compare Kate Gosselin and Kate Major and figure out who's the least obnoxious bearer of the name.

Hair: Well, Old Kate has a reverse mullet, and New Kate needs to do something about those roots. Double fail!

Occupation: New Kate is recently unemployed, and Old Kate write books about her perfect family or something. Double fail!

Fame Whoreness: Old Kate has allowed TLC to film her family self-destructing in front of all of America. And she isn't stopping any time soon, in exchange for a tummy tuck, trip to Hawaii, book deals, million dollar home, etc. New Kate is just getting started, but she made sure to latch on to Jon pretty quickly and make a pretty big deal about it. Double fail!

Controlling Behavior: Old Kate has been documented over four and a half seasons, continually nitpicking and emasculating Jon. On New Kate's end, so far so good. New Kate for the win.

Michael Lohan Relationship: As far as we know, Old Kate is not familiar with the Lohan family patriarch while New Kate told E! News Michael is "like a second father to me." That probably makes Old Kate for the win.

Well, the Kates are tied, so who's the better Kate?

Hailey Glassman, obviously. Congrats, you win a lifetime with J.Goss and a year's supply of Ed Hardy.