Week in Review: Chris Brown, Jon & Kate, Adam Lambert Made News; Michael Jackson Made History

Before Thursday, it was headlines as usual for Jon & Kate, Sarah Jessica's twins, the Oscars and a certain couple from The Hills

The news cycle, 24/7 though it may be, somehow managed to spin overtime this week. It was easy enough for us to forget that stuff happened before Thursday, and we wrote about it, so a reminder that the world never ceases to turn seemed even more of a necessity than usual. Here's how she turned:

1. Michael Jackson: 1958-2009. Still doesn't seem real.

2. But first we lost Ed McMahon, and then Farrah Fawcett, both of whom made their marks (one a little more pinup-worthy than the other) on the small screen. A private funeral for the Angel will be held Tuesday.

3. Jon and Kate Gosselin started divorce proceedings and TLC is done with them until August. But not before we got to see the sadness unfold during one remarkably redundant hour of television that still neglected to inform us that this marriage may have been "irretrievably broken" for at least two years.

4. Chris Brown copped to beating up Rihanna. He has five years' supervised probation and 180 days of community service to continue to think about (and perhaps beat himself up over) what he's done.

5. 94 percent of you told E! News to stop covering a certain couple. So we did. And, somehow, life went on.

6. Perez Hilton, apparently tired of just blogging the news, went out and made some of his own. With a vengeance.

7. Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick welcomed a couple of future fashion plates, twin daughters Marion Loretta Elwell and Tabitha Hodge. Now maybe their surrogate can get some peace. (Meanwhile, former SJP costar Matthew McConaughey just keeps procreatin'.)

8. The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences announced it's expanding the Best Picture field at the Oscars to 10 contenders. That clanking noise you just heard was WALL-E's most handlike appendage smacking whichever part of him most resembles a forehead.

9. There's a new Adam Lambert single on iTunes. It wasn't released by his new benefactor, 19 Recordings, but it and the unauthorized album it comes from are supposedly a "fantastic representation" of the glam rocker's style. A claim the glam rocker himself denies.

10.Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen was well on its way to grossing $165 million (in spite of those sociologically suspect twin Autobots). It probably still will, but box-office analysts probably weren't factoring in the possibility of millions of people staying in to dust off their turntables and give their vinyl copies of Thriller a much-needed spin.

Our tribute galleries to Michael and Farrah are worth click after click, and after that we've got gobs of celebrity photos to remind you of happier times.