If you get this drunk, you're going to come up with ill-advised photo opportunities.
If you get this drunk, you're going to think that poles move.
If you get this drunk, you're going to forget how doors work.
If you get this drunk, you're going to think that aluminum foil is food.
If you get this drunk, you won't be able to control your breakneck running speed.
If you get this drunk, you won't be able to handle a glare from the pitcher.
If you get this drunk, you're going to misjudge both distances and friction coefficients.
If you get this drunk, flat roads will turn into steep downgrades.
If you get this drunk, you will not pass your sobriety test.
If you get this drunk, you'll look creepy on live TV.
If you get this drunk, you'll forget how stairs work.
If you get this drunk, you'll actually be pretty awesome.