By now we've all been forced into the common knowledge that Kanye's butthole's thoughts can be pretty abstract, and, as a result, rather difficult for anyone who's not Kanye to decipher. So, while some people thought that the 20-minute speech he gave at their wedding was just one of his daily ego-maniacal delusions, he actually had some really touching things to say about Kim. He just couldn't organize his thoughts in a way that facilitated the word "love," or any mention of it.

Here's what Kanye actually meant by his totally wedding-appropriate (or possibly Little League) speech.


"We are warriors! There is not one person at this table that has not had to defend us at some point or another."

TRANSLATION: "Kim, you look so beautiful tonight. I can't believe I get to spend the rest of my life with you."

"They feel like it's okay to put you on the tabloid covers to sell your image, to use you in an SNL spoof."

TRANSLATION: "You are my lover, my teacher, my counterpart...and most importantly, my friend."

"I am defined by being a celebrity…the world is our altar."

 TRANSLATION: "I just can't wait to start this new chapter of our lives together."

Calling the Kardashian family "an industry."

"The day that you said that you'd marry me was the best day of my life."


Telling Kim she's the "ideal celebrity."

TRANSLATION: "I love you for who you truly are...with all of your imperfections."

"At this table, the combination of powers can make the world a better place."

TRANSLATION: "I give you my love, my trust, and my loyalty forever."

"It's amazing to look around this room; there are so many talented people."

TRANSLATION: "Kim, I love all the talented people in this room, and also you."


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