We tested this week's crop of E! news stories out on our interns in order to pinpoint the articles resulting in a reduction of neural activity sufficient enough to cause brain death. Our condolences to their families.

Rest assured, their sacrifice was not in vain...Ok, that's a lie. It was totally in vain. Here in no partiucular order are those stories, slopped together on one disgusting platter aka this week's garbage plate. Be warned, just like consuming an entire garbage plate, reading these is going to make you feel terrible. Enjoy?

garbage plate

Ground beef: The make-up artist on Kim Kardashian and Kanye's Vogue shoot says they didn't put any make-up on North West. The fact that someone had to actually come out and say that means we all totally believe Kim Kardashian would allow someone to put make-up on her baby.

Macaroni salad: Gwyneth Paltrow and that guy from Coldplay announced their divorce on her website Goop. Here's what we think the creation of that Goop article was like. 

Baked beans: Cameron Diaz thought some thoughts and said some stuff. Hey every other woman who's every been asked these exact same tired-ass questions, Cameron stole your answers.

Onions: Hilary Duff changed her hair. In other news did someone send that article to Hilary? Because I feel like she'd be psyched someone is talking about her.

Home fries: Someone found the hottest security guard in the world. Thank god. With that search over we can finally start looking for the world's hottest toll booth operator. It's a living! (PS - So is blog writing. Kill me.)

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