soup - chocolate chip

The creator of cronuts has done it again. Nobody asked him to do anything, and many people begged to do nothing... but alas... he has done it again. He just announced the debut of his latest food invention... the chocolate chip cookie shot glasses. 

We must admit, they look delicious, but we feel like it's time he takes his food inventing to the next level, so we put together a list of ideas for his next big thing.

Popcorn Rifle 
We have a few specific requests for this one. For one, we want it to use real gunpowder. Cheese flavored gunpowder. This will add flavor to the popcorn, as well as provide propulsion to fire it out of the gun's barrel at a deliscious velocity. Secondly we want the rifle to be made out of hardened butter that never melts. Use as many preservatives as you have to, and mix in a little steel if need be. Just make it happen.

Steak Bowl Filled with Mashed Potatoes
A classic combination with a new twist. We can't tell you how many times we've been eating steak and mashed potatoes and thought to ourselves, "Ugh! This is too much work! Why can't this be easier!" Now it can. And for you health nuts, you can just fill the bowl with a caesar salad or seasonal fruit… you pussies.

soup - steak bowl

Fried Chicken Battered with Heart Medication
The ultimate two-in-one. The fried chicken clots your arteries and causes strain on your heart, and the heart medication cleans your arteries and strengthens your heart. And to top it all off, the gravy is made out of fish oil. Delicious!

Martini Glass Made of Martini
To be totally honest, we would ideally like a martini glass made out of 1 or 2 extra martinis. But, listen, we get it. That ain't easy. Without some major technological advances, a martini glass made of martinis would just spill and then you'd find yourself on your hands and knees lapping up martini off the floor. And we don't want that. Unless we've already had a few martinis, and then we would have zero problem licking more martini off the floor. We're degenerates.

A Cronut, but Made from Dough

We know it sounds crazy, but in a way it's a no brainer. You already invented the cronut, a fried and glazed croissant. What we're suggesting is this: You take some dough… and fry and glaze it. We haven't thought of a name for it yet, but we're sure you can think of something. Maybe something like, Fried Dough with Glaze. Or, Doughfryglazenut. You'll figure it out.

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