The moment none of us were waiting for is finally here: Simon Cowell is having a kid.

If the way Simon treats contestants on his competition shows is any indication for how he treats children, this kid is in for a childhood filled with snarky comments and a lifetime of intensive therapy.

We put together some "inspirational" pieces of advice we imagine Simon will give his kid and are crossing our fingers that he or she is born with a thick skin.

Simon Cowell Advice 1
Simon Cowell Advice 2
Simon Cowell Advice 3
Simon Cowell Advice 4
Simon Cowell Advice 5

Godspeed to his unborn child.

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