We think of Etsy as the Pacific Ocean. It's a beautiful, expansive place where millions of amazing creatures live in harmony together -- but if you keep diving deeper into the depths you'll eventually find a toothy fish with a light bulb sticking out of its head... or a onesie made of organic bison leather.

We decided to explore the nooks and crannies of Etsy's candle section to see if we could find something interesting... like a candle-scented candle, or, with any luck, a Yankee candle with gills and a light bulb sticking out of its head.

Memorial Candle for Dogs
You know how when a beloved pet dies and you're sitting alone in your room, wrecked with sorrow and the feeling of loss, and you think to yourself, "If only I had a candle with a dog sticker on the front all of my pain would go away"? WELL DOES ETSY HAVE JUST THE PRODUCT FOR YOU!! The candle will burn for 60 hours, which should give you just enough time to block whoever gave you this gift on facebook.

Dog Candle

Sacred Heart of Amanda Bynes Candle
This candle is truly a work of art and a calls out a beautiful parallel between two historically important women: Amanda Bynes and the Virgin Mary. Remember the scripture in the bible about how the Virgin Mary used to take weird selfies of herself making duck face? Or that time when the Virgin Mary showed up to court with a wig on and Jesus was all like, "Pull it together Mary you're acting like a lunatic!"

Amanda Bynes Candle

Paris Hilton House of Wax Candle
For years we at The Soup have been trying to open up our own Etsy shop to sell our handmade items, such as the Louis Vuitton Colostomy Bag, or our most recent craft masterpiece -- the Paris Hilton House of Wax Candle.

Paris Hilton House of Wax Candle

So there you have it. Get on Etsy and spice up your next candlelit dinner with a candlelit Amanda Bynes!

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