Have you ever stopped to wonder what really happened to Jersey Shore? According to our shocking discovery, the Shore was even more HPV-like than we ever imagined—meaning, it never really went away.
Did you actually think the entertainment industry would, after making millions of dollars just by sucking the lemon drop shots of their existences from their spray tan-poisoned veins, settle for only six measly seasons??
NO. What we've found is that another network has taken every single element—from the characters to the outdoor peeing areas—from Jersey Shore, and recycled them into something glossier, something more West Elm-ish. Open your eyes, people. Jersey Shore IS The Bachelorette.
Question: Have you ever seen Desiree and JWOWW ravaging the exact same rack at Bebe, at the exact same time?? It's time to wake up.