In a strange place called Taiwan ("not a lot of people know about it," titters Ashley), the Bachelorette gets one step closer to marriage status by dropping solar-energy dim bulb Ryan.

Yes, the guy whose response to Ash's shameless suggestion to "teach me something right now" was to launch into a jaunty monologue about water heaters.

And he was surprised to get booted off.

Anyway, after a few minutes spent crying in the shrubbery, Ryan collected himself enough to offer this soliloquy...



And when your children grow up, they will be able to watch this moment again and again as they mercilessly mock you for being a blubbering, spineless wuss.

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