Hollywood hopefuls, you have homework: Watch The Drama Queen and listen to Marki Costello!
The series premiere of The Drama Queen introduced us to Marki, her family, her co-workers and her clients, and taught us plenty about Hollywood and how to make it in "the business."
Here's what we learned:
1. Yes, You Can Have It All
Marki introduced us to her two sons, Lucas (16) and Finn (4) and her boyfriend Tommy, proving that yes, you can be successful in your career and have kids. At least Marki can.
By the way, Marki's two essential Hollywood items are as follows: A Birkin bag and a hot boyfriend. Get one of each.
2. Your Staff Are Your Family—Your Fun, Loud, Sometimes Incompetent Family
We also met Kelly (talent coordinator), Michelle (junior talent manager), Stephanie (office manager), Jacobi (image consultant) and Angelica (receptionist), who all work under Marki at CMEG.
There's naturally some office drama (this is Hollywood, after all), and Marki calls Angelica the "worst receptionist" at one point, but everyone still gets along just fine.
3. You Need That "It" Factor
In the premiere, Marki held an open call to find young actors, hosts and singers for her new Junior Talent Division. Open calls unfortunately mean that, since nobody needs an appointment, there are guaranteed to be some duds.
However, Marki found a few diamonds in the rough: Paisley, the former toddler beauty pageant contestant whose mom dressed her in a Pretty Woman costume; Kirby, a young ingenue whom Marki took an immediate liking to; and Sloane, a pretty girl who needs Marki's protection so that she won't be "sucked up by the predators of Hollywood."
4. It's About Body Image, But You Don't Necessarily Have To Be Skinny
Marki's newest client is Tamara Jaber, a singer who was big in Australia and is now trying to make it in the States. The thing that worries Marki about Tamara is that she used to be 20 pounds skinnier in Australia, and now she's in the image-obsessed Hollywood.
But Tamara's fierce confidence about her weight sparks an idea for Marki: That's the brand! Tamara will be the girl who teaches girls that it's okay to be themselves.
5. Not Everyone Will Make It
"Part of my job is to crush dreams," Marki said after having to send home a girl who auditioned for her twice. But don't feel too bad for the girl...Marki suspected that it was just the girl's mom pushing her to be a star.
After a little talk, Marki convinced her to pursue her own dreams in fashion, and leave the singing to someone else. "People say I'm a crazy bitch," says Marki, "but hey, so is Hollywood!"
Catch another all-new episode of The Drama Queen next Sunday at 11/10c, only on E!