Kate Upton

Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images

If we didn't know better, we'd think a group of frat boys were responsible for Kate Upton's current red carpet fashion. They either designed the dress way too small on top, for obvious reasons, or sent the supermodel a way too tiny a size, for those same obvious reasons. Now somewhere the clever boys of Alpha Theta Couture are collecting bets on which boob pops out first.

It's not an entirely unlikely scenario, given how stuffed-in the blonde bombshell looks. Then again, the rest of the black stunner is so flawless that no flannel wearing co-ed could possibly get credit.

We're still searching for the mystery designer, but we give them kudos for causing the biggest buzz on the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue's 50th Anniversary party, and we imagine that was a tough crowd to top. The blue-eyed beauty's curves look absolutely killer thanks to the fishtail shape, and we love the simplicity of those vertical lines.

Plus, if you've got 'em, flaunt 'em, right? It's not like every man in America and every woman who shares a bathroom with one hasn't seen them already.

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