May Joan Rivers' birthday be a happy one—but not without its minor annoyances! Or else, what would she complain about?

The comedian turns 79 today, and rather than accentuate the positive, she recently took time to acknowledge what she hates...which includes a lot of things.

In addition to herself, she hates—to name a just few—kids on airplanes, old people writing checks, people with coughs and dog whisperers.

To learn more about what she loathes, pick up her latest book, I Hate Everyone…Starting With Me, which hit stores other than Costco on Tuesday. (She says that the store canceled its bulk order after she refused to remove raunchy jokes from the back cover. Advantage, Rivers: The controversy tripled book sales.)

Her latest book, which she says she conveniently had time to write between a pap smear and taping of Fashion Police, includes humor that is as sharp as her taut-as-ever jawline. Whether she at times crosses the line or not, the veteran performer doesn't care.

Rivers encourages aspiring comedians to "do what you think is funny." For her, that's embracing what makes her laugh, even if that includes fat jokes about Kathy Bates.

And although being hilarious can't stop time, growing older hasn't slowed her down one bit. Expect to see her as much as ever as she tours England, promotes her new book and continues on Fashion Police and WE TV's Joan & Melissa.

Rivers claims that there is no such thing as aging gracefully, but we have a feeling that 79 is going to be a very good year.

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