Courteney Cox, David Arquette

John Shearer/

There are so many celebrity couples breaking up that Chelsea Lately's head is spinning. Courtney Cox and David Arquette, Laura Dern and Ben Harper and Christina Aguilera and Jordan Bratman have all announced that they have split up. The latter took some googling on my part, because at first I thought "Christina Aguilera was married to Jason Bateman?" And then I remembered he is married to someone else, so I thought "Benjamin Bratt and Christina Aquilera seem like a weird couple." Now I know that she was married to a guy who produced one of her records, which for the record never seems to work out. The part that is always annoying when a couple splits is that first they announce it to the press; then they ask for privacy. That's like taking Tiger Woods to a restaurant then telling him he can't go home with a waitress. I also enjoy when couples like this separate legally and publicly, then a statement is released that "Divorce is not in our plans." Uh, maybe it's not in the person who made the statement's plans, but most likely it's on your estranged lover's "to do" list. When you split up the best way to handle it is to shut up.

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