Put on your readin' pants, it's time for Burning Lines!
Each week we'll highlight the best lines and moments from Burning Love, as the second season of the fan-favorite comedy premiered tonight on E!
This season, Julie (June Diane Raphael) is back after failing to connect with Mark and embarking on her own journey of "love."
Tonight, she met an interesting group of men that she'll eventually choose from. They include:
Leo (Martin Starr), who was born premature
Alex (Joe Lo Truglio), who just really, really loves his son
Simon (Rob Huebel), who is a real prince, like literally
Henry (Jerry O'Connell), who makes a lot of construction puns
Max (Adam Brody), who is Jewish
Blaze (Ryan Hansen), who is very attractive
Robby Z (Paul Scheer), who is a party motivator
Damien (Adam Scott), who was Mark's therapist last season
Khris (Nick Kroll), who is very, very drunk
Teddy (Nick Thune), who has a guitar and will use it
Wally (Michael Cera), who is just a nice guy with a severe nut allergy
Allison (Colin Hanks), who is very rich and has a very girly name
Zakir (Kumail Nanjiani), who is a "bonus contestant"
Khris gets eliminated pretty much right away after he pees in the wine cellar and starts a fight with Allison. Later, at the "box ceremony," Julie sends the other three "bonus contestants" home. You know why.
And so, here are tonight's Burning Lines:
"Since last season, I've changed a lot about myself. Mostly my hair color." —Julie
"It was a classic case of liking pee pees over vee vees" —Julie
"I hope you can overcome me to...inside" —Julie
"I have a great intellect, and an even greater allergy to nuts" —Wally
"I really think one of those guys could be my husband, and I've always wanted one of those things" —Julie
"My goal for tonight is to hang out with as many guys as possile, and to not go to any of my dark places" —Julie
"I've had sex with many of my cousins" —Simon
"I would prefer to have a real child first, but does he look anything like me" —Julie
"Hey I'm Zak now" —Zak
And, of course, there's this:
Masterful.
Catch the next episode of Burning Love next Wednesday at 10:30/9:30c on E!