"I don't know where it is. I think it might be in Kentucky. I hope it's in Kentucky. If not, it's gone. I don't have it."
—On where her Oscar statue (for Best Actress in a Drama) is, to AccionCine
"I was surprised at how little camel toe problem there was. I was expecting a lot more."
—On the wetsuit she wears in The Hunger Games: Catching Fire, to E!
"You can only s--t your pants so many times a day before you go to the emergency room."
—Discussing her recent "fulcer" scare (that'd be "fake" + "ulcer") on the Late Show With David Letterman
"I was in such a bad condition and I look behind me while I'm puking and Miley Cyrus is there, like, 'Get it together.'"
—On getting sick at post-Oscar party, to Seth Meyers on Late Night
"That was the most fun part of Catching Fire. [Josh Hutcherson and I] could run into the ocean and pee together."
—Revealing the best part of filming The Hunger Games sequel, during a Facebook Q&A
"You've never complained about slobber in any other kissing scene! I am not a wet kisser. That is gross. I would never be a swamp kisser. Ever. Ever!"
—On an emotion kissing scene between Katniss and Peeta in the Hunger Games sequel, during the Catching Fire press junket
"I'm not like creative enough to do actual pranks, I think I'm just mean to everyone and everyone's like 'She's such a pranker.' And I'm like, no I'm serious."
—On being labeled the on-set prankster by her Hunger Games costars, to Good Morning America
"Justin Timberlake. Early 90s Justin Timberlake. I remember buying the ‘N Sync CD. Remember how CDs had the pullout picture things? I got so overwhelmed with hormones I almost threw up!"
—Revealing her childhood crush, to Yahoo!
"He's fluent in French, very impressive. And he's hilarious. It's too bad he's so ugly."
—On her frequent costar (Silver Linings Playbook, Serena, American Hustle) to PopSugar
"Do I look like a new girlfriend?"
—The starstruck Oscar winner joked after the actor told her she looked like an old girlfriend, on GMA
"Your ass is mine, Stone!"
—Said with her face into E!'s mani cam on the Oscars carpet, fulfilling a promise she made to her fellow actress
"There it starts to fall off! And then I'm keeping it together, keeping it together, then my pants fall off again!"
—Discussing the pseudo-outfit malfunction she experience at the SAG Awards, on Piers Morgan
"You guys are just standing up because you feel bad that I fell and that's really embarrassing, but thank you."
—Accepting her Best Actress Oscar after tripping on the way to the podium
"It's terrifying...They say my name and it's as if I'm going to get my head cut off or something. I just hate speaking publically. Anyway, this is a tremendous honor!"
—Explaining what goes through her head when she has to give an acceptance speech, at the Independent Spirit Awards
"Do bears s--t in the woods?!"
—Confirming she likes Dance Moms to Kristen Chenoweth, while accidentally swearing on live TV
"He was at a party, and I turned into a perverted guy. I was like following him into rooms and staring at his ass...He asked me if I was on mushrooms and I said, 'No. I'm dead sober. This is just me.'"
—Revealing her run-in with her Full House crush, on Conan
"This isn't like an auction, right? You guys aren't going to take it away?"
—Upon entering the backstage area at the Oscars and before admitting that she did a shot
—While brainstorming a couple's nickname for Katniss and Peeta, on Moviefone's Unscripted
"As soon as somebody farts around me, I think it's hilarious. This is something my brothers did that now the boys at work are obsessed with. You cup it, and then you throw it in someone's face and say, ‘Take a bite out of that cheeseburger!'"
—On being one of the boys, to Entertainment Weekly
"Not to sound rude, but [acting] is stupid."
—On how she keeps a level head, to Vanity Fair
"Oh, what does it say? 'I Beat Meryl!'"
—Quoting The First Wives Club during her Golden Globe acceptance speech
"I wish this was like Mean Girls and I could just break this up and throw it at all of you!"
—Quoting Mean Girls during her People's Choice acceptance speech
"I just went to the doctor today, I got a chest X-ray of my lungs and discovered that my breasts are uneven."
—Discussing a recent revelation about her body, on Jimmy Kimmel Live!
"If I don't have anything to do all day, I might not even put my pants on."
—On what she does during her free time, to Glamour