"I was in such a bad condition and I look behind me while I'm puking and Miley Cyrus is there, like, 'Get it together.'"
—On getting sick at post-Oscar party, to Seth Meyers on Late Night
"I really would not call myself a fashion icon. I would call myself somebody who gets dressed by professionals. [It's like], 'Dance, monkey, dance' right on the red carpet.' I would call me more of a monkey."
—On her new status as a red carpet style icon, to E!
"If anybody even tries to whisper the word 'diet,' I'm like, 'You can go f– yourself."
—On being called fat, to Harper's Bazaar UK
"I don't know where it is. I think it might be in Kentucky. I hope it's in Kentucky. If not, it's gone. I don't have it."
—On where her Oscar statue (for Best Actress in a Drama) is, to AccionCine
"I was surprised at how little camel toe problem there was. I was expecting a lot more."
—On the wetsuit she wears in The Hunger Games: Catching Fire, to E!
"You can only s--t your pants so many times a day before you go to the emergency room."
—Discussing her recent "fulcer" scare (that'd be "fake" + "ulcer") on the Late Show With David Letterman
"That was the most fun part of Catching Fire. [Josh Hutcherson and I] could run into the ocean and pee together."
—Revealing the best part of filming The Hunger Games sequel, during a Facebook Q&A
"I think any time a girl has to show her thighs, it's never going to be her favorite look. I love the dress...if someone else wore it."
—On the sheer Dior gown she wore to the LA premiere of The Hunger Games: Catching Fire, to Good Morning America
"You've never complained about slobber in any other kissing scene! I am not a wet kisser. That is gross. I would never be a swamp kisser. Ever. Ever!"
—On an emotion kissing scene between Katniss and Peeta in the Hunger Games sequel, during the Catching Fire press junket
"I'm not like creative enough to do actual pranks, I think I'm just mean to everyone and everyone's like "She's such a pranker." And I'm like, no I'm serious."
—On being labeled the on-set prankster by her Hunger Games costars, to Good Morning America
"It will be the best thing that ever happened. But don't be an idiot, do a sex tape, do drugs. And go to Whole Foods when your movie opens."
—The advice she gave to Divergent star Shailene Woodley, via Vanity Fair
"Justin Timberlake. Early 90s Justin Timberlake. I remember buying the ‘N Sync CD. Remember how CDs had the pullout picture things? I got so overwhelmed with hormones I almost threw up!"
—Revealing her childhood crush, to Yahoo!
"If I were just your average 23-year-old girl and I called the police to say that there were strange men sleeping on my lawn and following me to Starbucks, they would leap into action."
—On hating the paparazzi, to Vogue
"He's fluent in French, very impressive. And he's hilarious. It's too bad he's so ugly."
—On her frequent costar (Silver Linings Playbook, Serena, American Hustle) to PopSugar
"Do I look like a new girlfriend?"
—The starstruck Oscar winner joked after the actor told her she looked like an old girlfriend, on GMA
"Your ass is mine, Stone!"
—Said with her face into E!'s mani cam on the Oscars carpet, fulfilling a promise she made to her fellow actress
"You should be off pudding. Because you're fat. You shouldn't eat any more pudding.
—A zinger directed at the Between Two Ferns host after he calls her "off-putting"
"There it starts to fall off! And then I'm keeping it together, keeping it together, then my pants fall off again!"
—Discussing the pseudo-outfit malfunction she experience at the SAG Awards, on Piers Morgan
"You guys are just standing up because you feel bad that I fell and that's really embarrassing, but thank you."
—Accepting her Best Actress Oscar after tripping on the way to the podium
"It's terrifying...They say my name and it's as if I'm going to get my head cut off or something. I just hate speaking publically. Anyway, this is a tremendous honor!"
—Explaining what goes through her head when she has to give an acceptance speech, at the Independent Spirit Awards
"I am starving! Aww, this show is so long! Sorry! I'm so upset about the food, I can't even..."
—After revealing that she hadn't eaten on Oscars day and learning food was available after the ceremony, to E! News
"I can see the McDonalds right there. Wait, hold on, I didn't say fries! I'm seeing you talk and all I'm seeing is me being pissed I didn't get fries. And you have to remind them about ketchup because they never include ketchup, you have to ask for it. Cheapskates."
—Interrupting an interview to clarify her Happy Meal order on the Oscars carpet, to MTV
"Do bears s--t in the woods?!"
—Confirming she likes Dance Moms to Kristen Chenoweth, while accidentally swearing on live TV
"He was at a party, and I turned into a perverted guy. I was like following him into rooms and staring at his ass...He asked me if I was on mushrooms and I said, 'No. I'm dead sober. This is just me.'"
—Revealing her run-in with her Full House crush, on Conan