Lea Michele
We struggled to get through Glee's Cory Monteith tribute episode, "The Quarterback." How Lea Michele got through it, we will never, ever know.
Jessica Lange's One-Liners
Somehow Lange manages to get better with every season of American Horror Story. In Coven, the head "witch bitch" is back and delivering delicious one-liners like, "Don't make me drop a house on you."
The Bangers on Bangerz
We were amused by Miley Cyrus, then shocked, then exasperated, then over it and now we're just here for the music. The ballads are nice, but on a CD called Bangerz, we want bangers: Like the Britney-assisted "SMS (Bangerz)," the twangy "4x4" and our next break-up anthem, "FU."
Joe Morton on Scandal
"You're getting on that plane come hell or high water. And make no mistake, I'm the HELL and the HIGH WATER!" Who says that?! And Daddy Pope is only getting more and more terrifying with each episode.
Brides Throwing Cats
Welcome to your new favorite Tumblr: The ridiculous, irreverent "Brides Throwing Cats." (P.S. "No cats were harmed in the making of this tumblr and we certainly don't encourage anyone to throw a cat on their wedding day.")
Freddie Prinze Jr.'s Abs
Where has Mr. Sarah Michelle Gellar been since, like, 2001? Doing crunches, apparently. And prepping for a guest appearance in an upcoming episode of Lifetime's Witches of East End.
"Timber," Pitbull ft. Ke$ha
Mr. Worldwide is back. Instead of Jenny from the block, this time he's accompanied by Ke$ha on a harmonica-bumpin' tune that would be a perfect summer jam, had it come out 2 months ago. But we need some good party anthems for fall too, right?
Tinder
In a world of endless dating options (OK Cupid! Grindr! Meeting a human being in person and asking them out!), Tinder lets you pick who is and who is not allowed to talk to you. Based on whether they're hot,. It's shallow, but whatever. You might get matched with Lindsay Lohan.
Everything's Coming Up Britney
It all started with a blind item: Blind Gossip gushed over a pop star that was "amazingly healthy and fit and mentally sharp." Oh, and who's dancing her ass off these days. Uh, Britney anyone?! Work, bitch! From there, it was all rave reviews, with Pop Justice even rating her new single a 9 out of 10. Looks like we're getting everything we wanted.
Dinosaurs
To be fair, dinosaurs have been the best thing every week since the Triassic period. But with the announcement that Jurassic World, the next film in the Jurassic Park franchise, is officially a go, we have dino on the brain. And we will until the movie hits theaters in 2015. We just really love dinosaurs, guys.
Yours Truly, Ariana Grande
The mini Mariah Carey dropped her first album earlier this month and it's been on repeat ever since. The features are eh (Big Sean and Mac Miller don't bring anything to the table, the only exception being a fun cameo by Mika on the Wicked-sampling "Popular Song"), but that's not a bad thing: Grande is best when she's crooning on her own, like in standout "Honeymoon Avenue."
Dan Rad's American Accent
We gave Emma Watons props for the Valley girl accent she adopted in Bling Ring, so it's only fair we pay the same respects to her Harry Potter costar. Sure, American actors get a bad rap for serving up bloody awful British accents, but the reverse is not always a pretty picture either. But Radcliffe's American accent is so realistic in the first clips released from his new movie, Horns, that we forgot he ever even attended Hogwarts.
Up: The Saddest Sequel Ever
In a world where no movie ever seems to stand alone, it's surprising that the much-beloved Up never got the sequel/prequel/spinoff treatment. Not that we're complaining—if it ain't broke, don't fix it. But artist Kristal Babich has created a suitable follow-up of sorts in this piece of fan art, which is about as depressing (and amazing) as the first 10 minutes of the actual movie (view more of her portfolio at PixiePunch.com).
This Frog Photobomb
We get it. We want to go to space too. But this eager frog probably went about it the wrong way: In this photo, which went viral this week, the airborne froggie is captured in a single frame, as NASA's LADEE spacecraft lifts off. Then again, maybe we're just jealous. That frog is a step closer to being in orbit than we are.
Welcome Back, Wizards
More precisely, rereading Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, now that the companion piece to the Harry Potter will officially be adapted to film. The movies—written by J.K Rowling herself, for the first time—will follow Beasts author, Newt Scamander, but really, they could follow anyone. We're just happy to return to her magical world of witches and wizards.
Lady Gaga's Real Housewives Tagline
No real housewife (or Real Housewife) is complete without a tagline. And Gaga, who's an avid fan of the franchise (her favorite is Lisa Vanderpump, "because she doesn't give any f--ks"), is ready and waiting. While appearing on WWHL, she revealed her intro line: "They may say I'm a woman, but underneath, I'm all man." It's no Melissa Gorga ("Sexy life, loyal wife. Take a page out of my book"), but it'll do.
Dave Franco & Chris Mintz-Plasse's Road Trip
James Franco's little brother and McLovin' from are currently on a week-long road trip and it's as weird and wonderful and (b)romantic as you'd imagine. The twosome is currently trekking cross-country, thanks to Funny or Die and LG, and documenting the adventure on Instagram. There's Sin City and suits and lots of sausage. But best you look for yourself.
Not Doing It for Vine
Some of the stupidest s--t that happens on the Internet happens on Vine (the Smack Cam, not dropping that thun thun thun, etc.). And the worst of the worst is done specifically for Vine, as evident by the #DoItForVine hashtag. But we have an alternative route you can take in life: Don't do it for Vine. You'll thank us in the long run.
Pumpkin Spice Lattes
They're baaaaaaaaack. Starbucks has officially started shilling their pumpkin spice lattes again—or as the junkies call ‘em, PSLs. It's that delicious blend of pumpkin, cinnamon and nutmeg that lets you know that fall is officially arriving. In the same way that you know Christmas is around the corner when SBux busts out their holiday cups. If summer has to go, at least we can drown our sorrow in pumpkin spice.
RuPaul's Girls Remix Cher
Surprisingly, this dragtastic extravaganza isn't the official version of Cher's "Woman's World" music video. LogoTV released a "remix" featuring some of your favorite Drag Race contestants: Chad Michael, Shangela, Willam, Alyssa Edwards and Manilla Lauzon, each serving up their best Cher impression. As they say, it's time to lip sync for your life. Luckily, none of them f--k it up. Watch here.
The Birth of Beyoncé
And unto us a Queen B was born, 32 years ago in Houston,. Now, she's an iconic pop star who is currently trekking the globe on her Mrs. Carter Show world tour (which we, of course, highly recommend). Naturally, we pulled out all the stops for our big Bey B-day celebration. What did you do to honor 9/4/81?
Surviving Burning Man
We came. We saw. We sweated our asses off. We danced our asses out. We met the nicest people we've ever met. We conquered. And most importantly of all, we returned home safe and sound, with lingering memories of the burning temple to hold us over until next year. See you at Burning Man 2014!