A Real Housewives first: a book club! This week's selection: Cop Without a Badge, a scandalous tell-all discovered by Dina Manzo that features some juicy scoop on Danielle Staub's alleged criminal past. The tome would later play an important role in Teresa's infamous table-flipping.
From referring to his dance instructor as a "gaylord" to calling his brother-in-law a f----t, Joe Giudice is an equal-opportunity offender when it comes to gay slurs.
This is what anger management classes were designed for. Teresa flipping out—and flipping a restaurant table—is hands down the entire Real Housewives franchise's most shocking moment. Slightly tipsy and still sore from her brand-new "bubbies" (aka breast implants), Mrs. Giudice went from 0 to raging maniac in a matter of seconds, all because Danielle laid a book on the table. But did the place settings have to suffer too?
No wonder Danielle and her goon squad got kicked out of the Brownstone. Danny Provenzano didn't even dress for the occasion in his fancy denim tuxedo—acid-washed jeans and jacket, courtesy of 1986.
Oh, the innocent days when the most shocking thing at a RHONJ christening party is outlandish spending. It's such a shame that Audriana was too young to enjoy the ice sculpture and cocktails, but at least her rite of passage, unlike her cousin Giuseppe's, didn't resemble a scene from The Godfather.
Unbeweavable! After a heated exchange nearly comes to blows, a screeching Teresa chases "coke whore" (a new variant on T's original "prostitution whore" insult) Danielle out of the North Jersey Country Club. She almost makes a clean getaway, except that Ashley yanks out a chunk of her hair extensions at the exit. Ouch! Ashley, who was later found guilty of simple assault and fined $189, would claim she was "defending" mom Jacqueline. Uh-huh.
Everyone reacted to Hurricane Danielle in different ways—Teresa flipped tables, Ashley pulled her hair, Jacqueline cried, Dina consulted her psychic adviser, who recommended she confront the "prostitution whore." Things didn't go so well, and their final showdown led to Dina's exit from the show.
No tables were victimized in Teresa's second violent on-air flip-out—but Andy Cohen wasn't so lucky! When Danielle dared to suggest in the season-two reunion that Teresa didn't acknowledge her nephew's birth, the enraged aunt stood up and shoved down the host who tried to intervene. Who knew Giuseppe's birth would be so polarizing? Everyone who saw the third-season premiere, that's who!
Everyone went cold with fear when Danielle pulled a head out of her bag at her last reunion show to demonstrate the pain she endured from Ashley's hair-pulling. Sure, it was just a bewigged mannequin, but for a few seconds we expected to see blood draining from the neck of Staub's latest victim.
There's nothing like a christening party—in this case, for Teresa's nephew—and an open bar to fuel the fury of the Gorga and Giudice families. At least the tables were safe in the infamous baptism brawl.
Whether it's Halloween or just, say, Tuesday, Joe Gorga never misses a chance to dress in drag. Not that there's anything wrong with that!
Intervention...or exorcism? Jacqueline calls in the troops (Ashley's dad, stepmom and stepdad Chris) to persuade her "princess still in the castle" that calling her mom a "bitch," rolling her eyes and constantly texting is not appropriate behavior for a 20-year-old freeloader. Instead of a fairy-tale ending, Jacqueline leaves the table in sobs.
After revealing that he stores brother-in-law Joe Gorga's messages in his phone in a folder titled with a gay slur (it starts with F), Joe Giudice took a drunken tumble and chipped his tooth. At least he wasn't driving.
If you ask Caroline, there was nothing fabulicious about Teresa's jibe that her castmate is as "Italian as the Olive Garden" in the introduction to her latest cookbook.
Melissa Gorga adds "On Display" to the dubious Housewives Greatest Hits collection, including "Tardy for the Party" and "Money Can't Buy You Class." Despite harsh reviews by critics, no one can deny that Melissa's new addition to the oeuvre can be interpreted as a song.
Unlike Melissa's overproduced, poorly choreographed and scary-spiced "On Display," Gia's heartbreaking performance of a song she wrote begging mom Teresa and uncle Joe Gorga to resolve their bitter dispute brought the house down—and everyone to tears.
Because Ashley failed all her classes and then refused to get a job, stepdad Chris bought Ashley not one but two cars. That'll teach her a lesson!
Spoiled Milania Giudice's bratty antics put to shame not only Ashley Holmes but every pageant contestant ever featured on Toddlers & Tiaras. And that includes Makenzie:
Instead of burying the hatchet, Teresa packed it in her suitcase for their family vacation in the Punta Cana, where she misinterpreted Kathy Wakilie's benign remarks about her kids as another attack on her cousin's parenting skills.
In the third-season reunion, the whole group—including host Andy Cohen—turned against Teresa. All except Jacqueline, that is, who felt so "betrayed" by her former friend that she skipped the show altogether. Confronting the animosity, the cookbook author was eerily calm, which was almost more unsettling than her previous flip-outs.