Astrid Stawiarz/Getty Images for Together Live
"We're both raging feminists in every way," Doyle told Glamour.com. "One of the coolest things about being in a same-sex marriage is that you realize—even when you thought you were a progressive person—you still have to undo all of the gender expectations that you grew up with. I remember sitting down with Abby, and being like, 'I'm all for equality and everything, but I really need to know which one of us gets the bugs.'"
She acknowledged that she played the more old-fashioned, traditional-wife role during her first marriage, "And I think when we first got married, I just kind of defaulted and passed that over to Abby. One night she was like, 'I don't want this responsibility for myself. I need you to be in this with me. I need you to learn it.' We got a financial adviser and I was so confused for a while, but I didn't give up. Now she doesn't feel as alone in the financial management."
Moreover, Doyle continued, "A partner in modern marriage is not someone who says, 'What can I do to help?' as if they're an assistant. It's carrying the mental load so that one person isn't the default parent and the other is the helper."