Sport: Rowing
Rebel/Loner Hero: Rob Lowe is a fast-talkin' Vegas ladies man who poses in front of mirrors in a tuxedo top and boxers because, well, this is an '80s brat pack flick. The whole reason he ends up at Oxford, and rowing? A girl, of course.
LOL Training Montage Moment: The team passes the camera in sweaters that all say "England"—except Lowe's, which says "Vegas."
Is the Big Game Against Harvard? Yes, because even in '80s brat pack movies, its fun to root against Harvard.
Keep clicking for more of the corniest (and greatest) college Big Game movies...
Sport: Cheerleading
Rebel/Loner Hero: Neither Hayden Panatiere nor Eliza Dushk, that's for sure. Both skipped this straight-to-video installment about California State College, home to the defending National Collegiate Cheer Champs—and not a real school.
LOL Training Montage Moment: Whittier (Anne Judson-Yager) quits the varsity team, inspiring the cheer captain's henchman Greg to declare, "That's right, I quit too!" only to be reminded he's on scholarship, to which he replies "That's right, I'm stayin' here! But under a cloud of shame!"
Is the Big Game Against Harvard? Yes!
Really? No. The Big Cheer-off is between Whittier's misfits and the Varsity squad. The winner? All of us!
What's the most clutch Big Game moment in Hollywood history? No contest—"Frank the Tank" Will Ferrell beats "Mouth of the South" James Carville in the debate scene:
"Recent research has shown the empirical evidence for globalization of corporate innovation is very limited. And as a corollary, the market for technologies is shrinking. As a world leader, it is important for America to provide systematic research grants for our scientists. I believe there will always be a need for us to have a well-articulated innovation policy with emphasis on human resource development. Thank you."
And that is how you debate! We actually just blacked out a little.
Sport: Band
Rebel/Loner Hero: Nick Cannon is Devon, a drumming savant with an attitude at Atlanta A&T, another fake place.
LOL Training Montage Moment: "I can't really read music." "Oh, that's all right, son. Some people can't read the sign that says 'toilet'. Doesn't mean they don't know how to use it." Funny, until you realize that line is basically lifted from Amadeus.
Is the Big Game Against Harvard? No, it's Morris Brown College, setting up a rare movie Big Game: fake college vs. real college. Devon breaks a battle-of-the-bands tie by drumming on his opponent's drum.
Sport: Boxing
Rebel/Loner Hero: James Franco is Jake Huard, a dockworker's kid who dreams of being a Navy Officer and makes it to the U.S. Naval Academy.
LOL Training Montage Moment: During a rowdy party before reporting to Annapolis, Jake's friends tell him they've hired him a prostitute, Ali (Jordana Brewster). Only, Ali isn't a hooker (surprise!), she's an upperclassman and his drill instructor (surprise again!)—which puts Jake in the cross hairs of Cole (Tyrese Gibson), the head instructor, ex-Marine and (extra surprise!) champion boxer.
Is the Big Game Against Harvard? No. Cole and Jake meet in sweaty, shirtless Brigade boxing final. We just blacked out again.
Sport: Gambling—and cheating at gambling
Rebel/Loner Hero: Wicked-smaht MIT kid Ben (Jim Sturgess) needs $300,000 for med school so he joins a team of other smart kids to count cards in Vegas. True story!
LOL Training-Montage Moment: Ben catches the eye of the "coach," (math prof Kevin Spacey) when he nails the famous "Monty Hall" math problem in class. And by "LOL" we mean, "we totally still don't get it."
Is the Big Game against Harvard? Sort of. The team's Big Game is at the Hard Rock Casino, but the movie ends with Ben telling the whole story to impress the scholarship committee at Harvard Medical School.
Sport: Debate
Rebel/Loner Hero: Melvin Tolson (Denzel Washington), a coach who pushes his team at (the very real) Wiley College to a national championship.
LOL Training Montage Moment: Debater Samantha is late to practice, and sits next to boyfriend, Henry. As he whispers to her, she unloads a roundhouse slap across his face. Denzel raises an eyebrow and says, "Resolved" (the debate term for introducing an argument) and continues with practice.
Is the Big Game Against Harvard? Oh, is it ever! The teams debate "non-violent resistance," the founding principle of the Civil Rights Movement. Harvard's lily-white team mocks the idea, but Denzel's team fights back and beats the proto-preppies.
Sport: Running
Rebel/Loner Hero: University of Oregon's Steve Prefontaine was the James Dean of running—he set records on the track, battled authority off of it, and died at 24 in a car crash.
LOL Training Montage Moment: Billy Crudup and Jared Leto appear identical as Prefontaine in the two movies, but coach and mentor Bill Bowerman is played by the tall, gothic Donald Sutherland and the short, clenched-faced R. Lee Ermey. Are there no surviving pictures from the early '70s to settle this?
Is the Big Game against Harvard? No, its the Finns, in a meet Prefontaine arranges, then dies driving home from.
Sport: Diving—but Rodney Dangerfield's iconic college movie is a clinic in Olympic-class one liners
Rebel/Loner Hero: Dangerfield's droopy-faced son wants to quit school and the diving team. Dangerfield enrolls himself to pep him up.
LOL Training Montage Moment: War vet-turned-professor Sam Kinison goads Dangerfield into a profanity laced tirade by shrieking "Say it! Say it!," and then responds with a menacing, "Good answer. Good answer."
Is the Big Game Against Harvard? No. But to write his English essay about Kurt Vonnegut, Dangerfield hires...Kurt Vonnegut, who actually did teach at Harvard.
We'll shelve our snarky format for Glory Road, the true story of the biggest Big Game in March Madness history, the 1966 championship game between Kentucky and Texas Western (today known as UTEP).
With the first all black line-up to play for a Championship, Texas Western beat mighty Kentucky's all-white team. You can still see the game's echoes today when you watch stars like Lebron James: The team President of the Miami Heat, who recruited James, is Pat Riley, Kentucky's best player at the time.
Next gallery: Top 10 Football Movies That Don't (Completely) Suck