One of the first season's biggest mysteries was who the hell was donning that seriously disturbing (and tight) rubber suit, who was also responsible for impregnating Vivian (Connie Britton) with the spawn o' death. The reveal was so worth it: it was Tate (Evan Peters)! Yes, the dude managed to get his girlfriend's mom pregnant with a demon baby. And you thought you had relationship issues. (He did it to provide the grieving Nora with a baby, BTW.)
Still one of the coolest reveals in AHS history, Violet (Taissa Farmiga) attempted to leave the house, only to find herself right back in it. Yep, that time we all thought Tate stopped her from killing herself? Turned out he was a little too late, and she died. Just as cool? Violet staring down at her dead, decomposing body.
They killed Tami Taylor! In a shocking move (Well, shocking for AHS at the time), Vivian died giving birth in the penultimate episode. And no one knew it was an anthology series at that point! 'Twas devastating, but at least she got to come back as the most well-coiffed ghost ever.
Some people are frightened of clowns. We were cured of that fear back in season one when the Infantata (aka Thaddeus, a being assembled with part of Charles and Nora's dead son) was revealed…and became the leading monster of our nightmares.
Do we really need to elaborate other than *shudders*?
No, this moment wasn't scary. It was bats--t insane—in a good way—and totally wonderful. Who doesn't want to see Jessica Lange sing "The Name Game" in a dank and depressing rec room of an asylum?
This was particularly cringe-worthy moment in a season full of sad and shocking scenes. We saw our heroine, Lana Banana, try to take care of Bloody Face's offspring, Bloody Face Jr. with a coat hanger. She wasn't successful.
Poor sex-crazed Shelley (Chloe Sevigny). Also poor children who found Shelley after Dr. Arden (James Cromwell) made her look all effed up.
We learned several things from American Horror Story: Asylum, namely don't mess with Lana Winters. After being committed to the asylum she was raped, tortured and kidnapped by Dr. Thredson (Zachary Quinto). As the police were on their way to get Thredson, Lana decided that wasn't enough and put a bullet in his head. Years later when confronted by the son she gave up for adoption, she did the same thing to him. Don't mess with Lana Winters.
Why were they a part of this season? Who knows, but we do know they are scary as #@!%.
Dr. Thredson/Bloody Face's chic house was all kinds of 1960s cool…except for the skin lampshade, skull dishes and other horrifying elements.
American Horror Story: Coven was full of crazy and horrifying moments, but nothing comes close to the wonderfully campy cameo from Stevie Nicks. She brought a shawl! She sang! She came back and did an oh-so-80s music video! Stevie Nicks is the true Supreme.
In an attempt to have a baby with her treacherous husband (hey, she didn't know he was working to kill witches at the time), Sarah Paulson's Cordelia Foxx did a fertility ritual that involved lots and lots of snakes and it was very, very weird.
There were lots of problems with Kyle's (Evan Peters) story. He was a cool frat kid, died, got brought back to life as a Frankenstein zombie, had sex with a bunch of the girls, was trained by Jessica Lange's Fiona…but the most disturbing and icky part of his story was his sexually abusive mom played by Mare Winngham. Incest to make your skin crawl!
Remember how excited you were to hear Patti Lupone was going to be on American Horror Story: Coven? Remember how horrified you were when she gave her son a bleach enema? This show and mothers, man…
We're seeing all sorts of crazy murder stuff on American Horror Story: Freak Show, but so far it doesn't compare to Kathy Bates' Madame LaLaurie in American Horror Story: Coven. In the very first episode she paints her face with blood, puts the head of a bull on one of her servants and slices open people like they were fruit.
Jessica Lange's Fiona Goode was dead set on keeping her Supreme title. She drowned poor Nan with the help of Angela Bassett's Marie and sliced Madison's (Emma Roberts) throat after a night of hanging out together. Just like that. Slice. Bye Madison. No regrets. But Madison didn't stay dead for long and when she returned she brought with her the best meme: "Surprise, bitch. I bet you thought you'd seen the last of me." YESSS.
Kathy Bates' character wasn't all terrible. Remember when she ate fast food for the first time? It was great! Hilarious! Kind of heartwarming…and then she went back to being a sadist.
Myrtle Snow (Frances Conroy) was perhaps the most fabulous gift American Horror Story has given us ever. Just her very look was enough to put a smile on our faces, and then she spoke about haters and fashion and everything felt right in the world. Then they burned her at the stake and we were bummed. But she came back! And she was kind of insane after, killing her fellow counsel members to get some eyes for Cordelia. We'll never look at a melon baller the same again. Balenciaga!
PHOTOS: See the American Horror Story: Freak Show cast in all their glory
Not only is he the worst picnic guest you could ever imagine (oh, how we laugh-screamed in the first episode, when Twisty showed up at the most idyllic al fresco dining scene of all time), but this sad clown is MISSING THE LOWER HALF OF HIS FACE! In related news, we are now missing ours too, after seeing his mask get knocked off inside his bus of terror, and we cannot find our lower jaw anywhere. Please help. And please find Twisty some Super Glue so that doesn't happen again. THX.
Right off the bat this dude pops up out of a mattress and now we can never stay in a hotel without checking the bed first.
Poor Schmidt. This was brutal to watch. What is that featureless monster and why does he have that gold drill dildo?
Welcome to American Horror Story, Lady Gaga! She knows how to make an intro with naked Matt Bomer, lots of blood and lots of sex.