HBOLast week looked like a walk in the park compared to the bloodbath that was this week's Game of Thrones. But it wasn't all swords through the jugular; we met new kick-ass women and said goodbye to some loyal friends.
The grim reality of Westeros in wartime is finally hitting home, so who switched alliances and who showed a softer side? Find out now:
WHAT WE LEARNED
Beyond the Wall: We were very relieved to see Jon Snow (Kit Harington) survived his cliffhanging ending from last week. But relief turns into worry when we see his perfect face now marred. We love Jon Snow's very strong sense of justice and no matter what gods the Wildlings serve; he believes it's not right to sacrifice the baby boys. Oh Jon, with your kind heart and pampered upbringing. We kid! But it's obvious that Jon Snow is not in Winterfell anymore and he's going to have to adapt and adjust to the cruel world beyond the wall in order to survive.
Renly's Camp: Renly Baratheon (Gethin Anthony) has quiet a few interesting women around him. We've waxed poetic about how much we adore Natalie Dormer as Renly's surprisingly observant wife, Margaery Tyrell. We think she's smart and has just enough bloodlust and ambition to keep things interesting. Plus, they've already tackled that awkward conversation of him sleeping with her brother. Renly also has a new member of his guard, the famous fighter Brienne (Gwendoline Christie), who clashed amazingly with the stoically strong Lady Catelyn Stark (Michelle Fairley). This is quite the holy trinity of strong, and shockingly different, Westeros women.
Iron Islands: We have a lot of choice words for Theon (Alfie Allen) and none of them are meant for polite society. All it takes is one little trip back to the Iron Islands and rejection by dear old daddy for him to roll on our beautiful Robb Stark (Richard Madden). Apparently Theon had a revelation while feeling up his sister because he is fully on Team Greyjoy now. We do have a begrudging respect for Theon because he finally stood up to Daddy Doom and Gloom at the hypocrisy of how he was being treated. It wasn't actually his fault he was sent away to Winterfell. But that moment is gone and we're back to hating him.
King's Landing: We are beginning to sound like a broken record with our weekly lovefest for Tyrion Lannister (Peter Dinklage) but he's the best so we can't help it! Tyrion seriously takes care of business this week. He finds a perfect place for his secret girlfriend to hide under Cersei's (Lena Headley) nose, as Sansa's (Sophie Turner) new handmaiden. And he finds out who the mole in the castle is.
Our love for the super smart and clever Tyrion only grows each week. But it was a little shocking to see Cersei as a truly loving mother. We've seen her give orders to kill, she threatens Sansa daily and yet when the suggestion of her precious daughter receiving the same treatment comes up, she turns into a crazy mama bear. Cersei is definitely an enigma but that's also what makes her so compelling.
On the Kingsroad: Poor Arya (Maisie Williams) is still struggling with the whole witnessing her father being executed thing. But of course the trauma isn't over and she has to see a lot more bloodshed when they are attacked on the road. We have a weak constitution and we can't take our precious Arya and Gendry (Joe Dempsie) in danger. But one teeny tiny good thing about this attack was that the target on Gendry's back is gone for the moment because of quick-thinking Arya. Alas, it was a very fleeting moment of freedom.
ONE-LINERS
"Last time I saw you—you looked like a fat little boy." —Theon
"Every man who has tasted my cooking has said what a good whore I am." —Shae (Sibel Kekilli)
"The council has a reputation for serving the past hands poorly. I don't mean to follow Ned Stark to the grave." —Tyrion
"Because they are the knights of summer and winter is coming." —Catelyn
"Do you want my brother to come in and help? He could get you started. I know he wouldn't mind. Or I can turn over and you can pretend I'm him." —Margaery
How did you like this episode? Are you obsessed with Margaery like we are? Are you worried about Arya and Gendry? How is Tyrion so amazing week after week? Tell us all about it in the comments!