Bitch-Back! Is The Hunger Games Really the New Twilight?

Readers want to know all about the new sci-fi flick that is ousting the vamps.

By Ted Casablanca Mar 24, 2011 11:33 AMTags
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Dear Ted:
When I read The Hunger Games, I always pictured Gary Busey as Haymitch. What do you think?
—marydavis

Dear Hungry for Some Crazy Haymitch:
While my initial response is "you're joking, right?" I'm actually into it. At least I see it for crazy Haymitch. Not sure if he can pass as the helpful and brilliant one later on.

Dear Ted:
Huge fan of The Hunger Games here, and I was thinking about the casting. What do you think of Hugh Laurie as Haymitch? Would he ever consider taking the role? I'm so pulling for Alex Pettyfer to get the role of Peeta. He's exactly how I imagined it the entire time I was reading. Thoughts?
—mugrat21

Dear Move Over, Twilight:
Well, looks like we have a new Bitch-Back regular in town, and I'm not going to lie—it's refreshing (sorry, Twi-hards). I kind of like Laurie for the role. He's got that older, mentor-like look about him that would really work for the character. But still not exactly who I have envisioned. As for Pettyfer as Peeta, he's my personal favorite for the part!

Dear Ted:
Any good stuff on Timothy Olyphant? He is so adorable and I can't believe he hasn't gone full-blown A-list by now. Is it his project choices?
—schimmy

Dear Gimme Some Oly Already:
You're dead-on about the project choices semi-stalling Olyphant's Hollywood career. I think the dude could totally be an improved, and taller, version of Tom Cruise, but he has got to stay away from the predictable box-office flops. Maybe he could make a fab Haymitch in The Hunger Games, and that could totally up his game, what do you think?

Dear Ted:
Is Priscilla Desert Hayden Panettiere?
—Biffy

Dear Dirtier Matters:
We digress from everything that is The Hunger Games into Viceville. So yum. Nope Priscilla is definitely not Hayden, but that's a great guess. Not dry enough, though.

Dear Ted:
First, let me tell you that my day is not complete without reading a little Awful Truth (sometimes more than once a day). I have a guess for King Schlong...could it be Ryan Gosling? Love ya.
—Marti

Dear Schlonging Around:
I will say it over and over: Ry is too presh to be arrogant about his assets. Schlong has got it going on, and he shows that he knows it.

Dear Ted:
I was so sorry to hear about the passing of Elizabeth Taylor, a class act all the way. Who in your opinion would be her successor in Hollywood today, if she had one?
Jana

Dear Death of an Icon:
Well Kim Kardashian did recently interview Elizabeth Taylor in Harper's Bazaar and has always called Taylor "her idol." But we certainly aren't suggesting that Kim has all it takes to be iconic like Taylor. Someone like Angelina Jolie would be much better, but she needs more husbands. 

Dear Ted:
I was willing to give Chris Brown the benefit of the doubt. A judge gave him glowing reviews for compliance post the Rihanna disaster. But with his recent outburst at the GMA studios it's very clear he is not sorry for what he did, doesn't think it was a big deal and has not been rehabilitated. Because if you beat the crap out of your ex-girlfriend and you truly feel it was wrong you wouldn't go ape-poop over having to discuss it further. He's joined the ranks of Mel Gibson. Good riddance!
Holls

Dear Goodbye 3X:
You know the saying, once a cheater always a cheater? Well, the same goes for anger management cases like Chris unless they are extremely committed to rehab and reform. But as you said, Chris doesn't seem to have any remorse for his actions and the stint at GMA just proved to us that he doesn't really want to change. Guy may be able to sing, but he's got some serious issues he'd better get under control. 

Dear Ted:
I can totally see Angelina Jolie playing Cleopatra. Now, if she will gain about 15 pounds, she would look amazing.
—Anon

Dear Cleopatra Coming Atcha:
Couldn't agree more! Some weight on the beauty and a fresh new project to revamp her image would be phenom. 

Dear Ted:
So Selena Gomez got together with her ex boyfriend Nick Jonas (for the Concert of Hope, that is) this past weekend! Any inside stories on that?
M

Dear Not Jonasing Around:
Sorry, M, but Selena is all about the Biebs right now. After all, who needs someone to sing you "Lovebug" when you've got a BF calling you "baby, baby, baby, oh"?

Dear Ted:
What's the dish on the low-profile but very hot Nathan Fillion? We rarely hear anything of him.
Deedee

Dear Stuck in a Castle:
We love Nathan in his series Castle, especially with all the chemistry between him and his super hot costar, Stana Katic. But the dish on Nathan is just that, he's very low-profile and serious about his career. Dude was never into the Hollywood scene and probably never will be.