It's that time again.
You know the time we're talking about. It's the episode after the season's wackiest character on The Bachelorette finally takes their leave after we spent weeks wondering why they were still there, the episode that reveals the hole in our hearts and on the show in their absence. Yes, folks, we miss Jordan. So much. His drama was fun, ridiculous drama, and the drama that's left is nothing but depressing.
As Colton put it so succinctly, the wheels on the bus came all the way off this week between Eddie from Friends and Convicted Sex Offender Lincoln. Eddie from Friends should have been gone last week, and Lincoln should have never been on this show in the first place, so you can imagine how very uninvested we were in this fight. Lincoln's a liar, Eddie's not here for the right reasons, etc etc.
Their childish, slightly vague fighting was the theme for the night and everyone's trip to Richmond, Virginia (a place for lovers and also dead presidents). They fought before the group date and during the group date, including up on stage in front of a crowd during a debate where they were supposed to be proving their love for Becca in the Beccalection.
It was an embarrassing display (for reasons beyond the word "Beccalection"), and we're not the only ones who thought so. Becca said she was embarrassed, and if we were her we would have packed up and left right then and there. Somehow, she carried on through the post-date cocktail party, through Eddie's nonsense and Lincoln's lies about Eddie. Instead of an equal participant looking for love, Becca seemed more like a teacher shepherding unruly kids on a field trip.
At least things went a little better for poor Becca during her one-on-ones this week. First up was Jason, with whom she visited the gravesite of Edgar Allan Poe and also a donut shop. He kissed her in a coffin, and then they attended a gothic happy hour, an event meant only for those who enjoy a "welcoming darkness." Jason nearly did the splits with a young lady on a Persian rug, and then Becca had a weird surprise for him: all his friends, waiting in a bar!
Becca loved Jasons's friends so much because they reminded her of home and her own friends, which is her explanation for everything she loves, but is also fair. She left that date with Jason acting as if he is The One, but her joy was all gone by the time she went on her date with Leo.
The field trip with the other boys had exhausted Becca so much that Leo's long flowing Jason Momoa hair wasn't even enough to thrill her immediately. Eventually, she was into the date, which involved waders and oyster shucking and one of those awkward concerts, though this date wasn't even close to the same level as Jason's. That can probably be explained by the fact that we haven't even seen Becca speak to Leo up until this point, and the fact that she was emotionally done.
After seeing Leo return triumphant, Eddie made one last plea. He went to Becca's room to talk, but he didn't get very far before she sent him home. He's not the guy she wants in her life ever, she said. Took you long enough to figure it out, girl.
As has become the way of fed up Bachelorettes, Becca canceled the cocktail party and got right to the point, sending Lincoln home alongside poor Connor, for some reason. We only learned Connor's name last week so that's actually probably the reason, but it still feels like he's a casualty of a war he wasn't fighting. We hate to loop him in with this sentiment, but we can't help but feel it just in general: Good. Riddance.
Anyway, next week the Bahamas is the perfect place to fall in love and inevitably for men to argue with each other, but it will be interesting to see what that arguing is like with Lincoln and Eddie (Fine, Chris) out of the picture. Can't wait!
The Bachelorette airs Mondays at 8 p.m. on ABC.