Luis D. Ortiz Opens Up About His Struggle With Depression and Suicidal Thoughts

Million Dollar Listing: New York star pens emotional Instagram post

By Meg Swertlow Jun 23, 2018 11:28 PMTags
Luis D. OrtizMike Pont/Patrick McMullan via Getty Images

Following the recent suicides  Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain, Million Dollar Listing: New York star Luis D. Ortiz is opening up about "struggling" with suicidal thoughts in hopes of helping others. 

Ortiz, who announced he was leaving the Bravo series in 2016’s season finale, posted a lengthy Instagram with the caption, "#thisismytruth."

The candid post began, "I have been wanting to share this for some time now but have been very reluctant to do so for the very same reasons most of us choose to keep our truths in the dark. However, ever since Kate and Bourdain committed suicide I have been feeling the strong need and responsibility of sharing my truth with the hopes of a positive change."

The serious post continued, "For the past year I have been struggling with depression and during the last three months all I can think of—day and night—is putting an end to it all."

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"What makes sense intellectually doesn't seem to internalize which makes understanding how selfish this would be for the people that love me almost impossible to see," writes the Bravolebrity.

"In fact, I argue that it is selfish of them to let me live in a place I have convinced myself I no longer want to be a part of," wrote the 31-year-old. "It's a very stupid, ignorant and blind argument but once you have broken yourself down to the extent of no longer believing in any of your abilities and the value you bring to yourself, the people closest to you and the world you live in it's extremely difficult to see it that way."

Courtesy Steve Freihon

He also thanked his friends and family for "the genuine love and care" they gave him during these trying times. He thanked those "who have constantly fought and continue to fight hard to engrave in me the perspectives they know I have the ability to understand in order to come back to the old full-of-light self I truly loved, respected and admired.”

He continued, "I am still there with the desire of slowly eradicating this bullsh-t— (definitely temporary) mindset of mine and start creating something extraordinary as a result."

He added, "My point is: This sh-t is real and it’s happening to so many people. Regardless of who they are and what they have or haven’t accomplished. We constantly feel the need of showing that everything is ok when it really isn’t and that needs to stop. Our internal battle makes us stronger, yes. But we need to win them first. And sometimes, most times, we can’t win them on our own.

The post went on, "With that said, don’t be afraid of your truth. Be proud of it. Share it if you believe will help you understand it better. It’s the only way you will genuinely evolve. And for those of you with friends or close ones who you see are not being themselves, do not abandon them. Remind them of who they are. Remind them that you’re there for them. Remind them that you love them. They don’t need to be at their lowest to be positively affected by it."

Continuing, he wrote, "Let’s make it cool and sexy to create forward while sharing our truth along the way. Let’s learn to love everyone’s unique truth and perhaps that will elevate our levels of compassion and empathy which will better us as people and our world. We are all amazing. Don’t forget that."

He concluded the intimate post, "With love, Luis."

If you or someone you know needs help, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).