It's time to do the damn thing.
Get ready to judge 28 books by their covers, as The Bachelorette has officially revealed the 28 suitors who will be competing for Becca Kufrin's heart when the ABC hit returns on Monday, May 28.
Sadly, it seems like wacky job titles are a thing of Bachelor franchise past, as there are really no "chicken lover" or "hipsters" among the contestants. Or does a banjoist count as wacky these days? One trend we definitely noticed this season: athletes, of the professional(ish) variety.
Here are Becca's 28 men, along with all the basic info you need to know (age, job, location) and a tease from host Chris Harrison about them that he divulged on Facebook Live when announcing season 14's suitors:
Age: 28
Job: sales representative
Location: Bailey, Colorado
Harrison's hot tip: He noted a strong connection between Becca and Blake, who we first met on the After the Final Rose special when he rode in on a horse. "He also rides something else in on night one," he added. "It's a different animal."
Age: 29
Job: senior corporate banker
Location: Seattle, Washington
Harrison's hot tip: "A blue-collar guy" who has a solid relationship with Becca. We predict Top 4 and next Bach consideration.
Age: 26
Job: former professional football player
Location: Denver, Colorado
Harrison's hot tip: So Colton was the guy that started dating Olympic gymnast Aly Raisman by asking her out publicly via interview. Expect "interesting stuff" from Colton who has "a big story he and Becca will deal with."
Age: 29
Job: medical sales representative
Location: Reno, Nevada
Harrison's hot tip: The "sneaky good athlete" seems to be an early frontrunner, with Harrison teasing, "He just cares about Becca. He's always disarming and puts Becca at ease."
Age: 31
Job: stuntman
Location: Studio City, California
Harrison's hot tip: Harrison says he's a "renaissance man" and advises "don't judge a book by its hair!" How long do you think it will take for one of the other men to call him Fabio?
Eliminated week seven
Age: 29
Job: graphic designer
Location: Los Angeles, California
Harrison's hot tip: Dark horse alert! Wills is "a romantic guy" who will fly under the radar after making a good connection with Becca, Harrison previews.
Eliminated week seven
Age: 30
Job: sales trainer
Location: Orlando, Florida
Harrison's hot tip: "Also involved in a little drama." That's it.
Eliminated week six
Age: 25
Job: fitness coach
Location: St. Petersburg, Florida
Harrison's hot tip: He'll get involved in a little drama early on.
Eliminated week six
Age: 26
Job: account sales executive
Location: Los Angeles, California
Harrison's hot tip: Three words to describe the Brit? "Drama, drama and drama." He's also named after Abraham Lincoln, who will make an appearance this season.
Eliminated week six
Age: 28
Job: software engineer
Location: San Francisco, California
Harrison's hot tip: Whoa, Harrison says he's "the most successful guy we've ever had on the show." More successful than the hipster?!
Eliminated week five
Age: 26
Job: male model
Location: Crystal River, Florida
Harrison's hot tip: He's a "goodlooking guy" who "will talk about being a model." Oh, and his vibe is "Ben Still, Zoolander. I'll just say this: you're welcome, America!"
Eliminated week five
Age: 25,
Job: venture capitalist
Location: Denver, Colorado
Harrison's hot tip: Harrison seemed equal parts excited and annoyed over David, who shows up in the chicken suit on night one. "There's never a reason to show up in a chicken suit. Ever," Harrison says. He also teases Davis is "involved in another moment, an incident that will go down in Bachelor history."
Eliminated week 5
Age: 31
Job: former Harlem Globetrotter
Location: Los Angeles, California
Harrison's helpful tip: The show accidentally called him Chris S. in the beginning, so try not to be confused when it randomly switches. "This main is not used to losing!"
Eliminated week four
Age: 27
Job: attorney
Location: Orlando, Florida
Harrison's hot tip: He has "a zest for life, which Becca enjoys." We'd be concerned if she didn't, TBH.
Eliminated week four
Age: 31
Job: colognoisseur
Location: Pensacola, Florida
Harrison's hot tip: He owns 250 colognes apparently!
Eliminated week four
Age: 27
Job: sports analyst
Location: Cincinnati, Ohio
Harrison's hot tip: Harrison notes he has "good hair" but "not Leo hair." He brings a life-size cutout of Arie on night one. This should end well!
Eliminated week three
Age: 26
Job: banjoist
Location: Manhattan Beach, California
Harrison's hot tip: "Quirky dude, fun guy" who has a real job but they decided banjoist was more fun after his ATFR appearance.
Eliminated week three
Age: 30
Job: professional football player
Location: Chicago, Illinois
Harrison's hot tip: He's a "legit" athlete, unlike previous "pro" athletes who have appeared in the past (or with Clay. We'll get there.) Calling him a "stud," the host says Clay "might be the most athletic guy we've ever had." But the cause for concern: if he's ready to give up his career.
Left week three to have surgery on his broken wrist
Age: 31
Job: construction manager
Location: Atlanta, Georgia
Harrison's hot tip: "A little bit of a Tom Brady thing." Sure!
Eliminated week two
Age: 27
Job: IT consultant
Location: San Diego, California
Harrison's hot tip: A "sharp dresser" and "a big Wall Street guy." We're overwhelmed with details about his personality!
Eliminated week two
Age: 28
Job: realtor
Location: Naples, Florida
Harrison's hot tip: Expect Trent to give an interesting gift to Becca on night one that "sets the tone" for their relationship.
Eliminated week two
Age: 28
Job: banker
Location: San Diego, California
Harrison's hot tip: "Solid athlete," whose main sport is soccer.
Eliminated night one
Age: 26
Job: a pharmaceutical sales representative
Location: Sherman Oaks, California
Harrison's hot tip: "Good-looking guy." Many men have been called worse by Harrison!
Eliminated night one
Age: 27
Job: electrician
Location: Danville, California
Harrison's hot tip: Two words: "Matt Damon."
Eliminated night one
Age: 31
Job: grocery store owner
Location: Chicago, Illinois
Harrison's hot tip: A good guy, according to Harrison, for three reasons: His name is Joe, he's from Chicago and he owns a grocery store.
Eliminated night one (but in our hearts forever)
Age: 29
Job: marketing consultant
Location: Minneapolis, Minnesota
Harrison's hot tip: "Jake and Becca have a past. Now they have different versions of that past." Oh man, we're already prepping for secondhand embarrassment.
Eliminated night one
Age: 27
Job: advertising vice president
Location: Sanford, Florida
Harrison's hot tip: Harrison doesn't seem to be a fan, saying, Chase is "involved in a little drama on night one...he just looks like that kind of character."
Eliminated night one
Kamil
Age: 30
Job: social media participant
Location: Monroe, New York
Harrison's hot tip: Harrison says he "doesn't talk as much about being model" and is "handsome in his own right."
Eliminated on night one
Check back with E! News tomorrow for exclusive inside scoop from Chris Harrison on the 28 men!
The Bachelorette premieres Monday, May 28 at 8 p.m. on ABC.